Tribute to a Friend

Thanks to Sr. Mary Dennison, the Founder and Director of the Spiritual Direction Institute at the Cenacle Retreat House in Houston.

• Who, on the threshold of a sabbatical, has shared her wonderful gift of listening and empathy, of clarity and intellect to everyone she encounters
• Who, in welcoming and accepting others, frees their gifts for joyful service and love
  
• Who first told me that my love of reading and study was not weird but a valid spiritual discipline and tool for prayer and growth
  
• Whose dedication and joy in her ministry these many years is not only beautiful but smart and contagious
• Whose Midwestern spunk, good humor, and patience always brings fresh air to the seriousness and judgment of our Bible belt religion
• Whose permission-giving, thought-provoking, and authority questioning gave me the freedom to rethink, discern, and repent
• Who tells the stories of saints and martyrs with reverence as well as friendliness
  
• You have embodied in the classroom and beyond the ideals of my spiritual heritage: "First do no harm, practice doing all the good you can, and stay in love with God."
• Thank you, friend and sister in the Lord, for all you have done for me and for the church we share in Jesus.
• Thank you for inviting me into this safe and healing place, and for all your encouragement in the SDI, in spiritual direction, and as a pastor!

We in the SDI third year are deeply grateful for your bringing us together! What a wonderful gift you have given the church and our city! May your sabbatical be filled with hope and rest and light and life.

Beyond Walmart Hospitality

Reading Amy Oden's God's Welcome: Hospitality for a Gospel-Hungry World has led me to classify hospitality as a legitimate spiritual discipline for Christians and their communities. This volume offers a seasoned biblical, theological, and very readable reflection on the ancient and counter-cultural practice of opening our lives and our churches to strangers not because "radical hospitality" is the current gimmick for retooling stale churches, but because of who God is for us in Jesus Christ. Everyone yearns for God's welcome, and the need to belong and to to be "at home" is one of the most powerful of human hungers.

If we're not careful, we'll adopt what the author calls the "Walmart" brand of hospitality, the kind that only looks good. So the persistent theme of the book is a challenge to go beyond the easy, feel good hospitality of our retail culture. Even though most people probably appreciate the smiles and waves of greeters, good appearances alone don't endure in the pain and difficulty of life. God's hospitality in Jesus, is now and always connected to life in all of its fullness, its beauty and ugliness. Because God in Jesus gets in the mess of our lives with us, our hospitality is not just about being a pleasant person, but speaks to the depth and duration of our compassion. It's about welcoming people to a shared life and a common journey, not just to a building on a church campus.

Gospel welcome is not just another method, it's a life and a spirituality that transforms. Offering God's welcome is therefore a justice issue. Christians are responsible for fleshing out the welcome we have received. We too were once strangers and sojourners. At one time we were lost and unknown! Authentic hospitality often comes from those who have had a recent experience of being lost. These are the people who are new, strange, or unknown to a community. These are the folks who understand how important it is to create a space that is safe and free and welcoming.

Accordingly, one of the book's strengths is the excellent reflections on a variety of practices that foster a spirituality of hospitality. Some like "Saying Yes and Saying No: The Limits of Hospitality" focus on God's hospitality rather than on getting people to like us. Also included are study questions on each chapter for groups, teams, individuals, preachers and teachers.

Another example of a spiritual practice is "Getting Lost." Many churches are finding "mystery guests" to attend their church and give honest feedback of their experience of welcome. The better way, one which Oden suggests, is for church people to put themselves in situations where they are "lost." For example, go to a church for the first time sight unseen, experience being the guest, the one who is not in the know. Let it be a different denomination in a different locale or neighborhood. Let that experience teach you what guests appreciate as well as what they don't like. If hospitality teams practiced this regularly, perhaps the quality of our welcome would be deeper, wider, longer, and higher than that of Sam's Club! And more like God's welcome in Jesus.

The book is itself a welcome invitation to think more deeply about what makes Christian hospitality different. One of those characteristics is the quality of openness, acceptance, and welcome we practice with everyone, not just other Christians. That Christians are increasingly seen as intolerant, judgmental, and closed-minded provoked Oden, in part, to write this book. The church has made hospitality a buzz word of effectiveness, so Oden, a professor at Wesley Theological Seminary, has offered a timely piece challenging us to practice a spirituality of hospitality, informed by the Word made flesh.

A Time Between and Revelation

Our 2008 Thanksgiving Day lands in the middle of Christ the King, the last Sunday in the Christian year, and the first Sunday in Advent. I had the privilege of leading an adult study of Revelation to Chapelwood's Cornerstone Class these past seven weeks. The study was based on an actual reading and commentary on most of the book by chapter. The best study I know of is James Efird's book, Revelation for Today. It's both very readable, stays doggedly with the actual text and the community context of the Apocalypse. It's also a thorough debunking of Darby's fantastic interpretations which seems to reappear with every new generation.

I've enjoyed teaching this class and, along the way, have learned:

• Revelation is a natural segway into Advent/Christmas, because it can foster a meaningful discussion of what God's coming among us looks like now and in the future, especially in a world racked by economic misfortune, trauma, war, violence, natural and human disasters.
  
• Revelation is not as hard as we can make it out to be; but the metaphorical and picture language is challenging to church folks who equate the Darby chronology with Christian orthodoxy. It is interesting that western Christians read it this way- more metaphorically- for 1800 years, or until after the industrial revolution.
• The core to me seems to be about worship of the one and only God who alone lives forever. That connects well with the commandments and defines what true faithfulness is.
• A non-linear approach to the book is possible by staying with the genre. If you stay with the genre of apocalypse, the book reveals the origin, direction, and operation of evil, as well as the alternate reality of the Lamb and those who worship the Lamb. Again, the non-linear approach will raise the eyebrows of believism.
• The Beast seems to be all about peace through war and violence, while the Lamb and his followers are told to endure (and not fight). The Jesus followers were not trusted by Jewish brothers since those following the way of Jesus refused to fight alongside them in the Jewish Revolts of 66-70 A.D.
  
• The second coming of Jesus (rider called Faithful and True) is one (and not the only) image of the end; others are: the New heaven and earth, the New Jerusalem, the Judgment, the Wedding Feast, the fruit of the Tree of Life, etc.
  
• John is and was right! Domitian died not long after the Revelation was written. Evil had its limited day, and the persecution lifted. Indeed, John was correct about what was "soon to happen, " with Christians living in a time without threat of persecution.
• Then there's the stuff not found in the text of the Revelation: rapture and battle of Armageddon are good for starters. The antichrist is also absent from the text.
  

Questions:

1. If you believe that fear works, why do we have to be threatened in order to believe or repent?
2. I've noticed how the word apocalypse is so negative and destructive in today's culture. How does Revelation speak to our world in the darkness of violence, chaos, and hopelessness?
   
3. We say we believe that Christ will come again in the Prayer of Thanksgiving. What does that look like for you??
   

The Essence of Spirituality

When John Wesley wanted what the Moravians had, he identified perhaps the most basic element in human spirituality: the yearning for something more. The peace of Moravian faith Wesley witnessed for himself amidst the trauma of a terrifying storm at sea. While he was panic-stricken, the Moravians were singing hymns. St. Teresa of Avila was known to have prayed, "O God, I don't love you. I don't even want to love you. But I want to want to love you."

There are often moments when we are confronted with the true spiritual reality of our lives: we want for ourselves what we see in others. A friend and colleague seems tremendously in the zone every time I see her. So centered, focused, prophetic, possessed by a mission that is undeniably authentic and obvious. What can I do but admire that!

There is no silver bullet of spiritual health. No matter where we are or where we've been, I believe all we've got to work with is our longing for more of God. And the honesty, like St. Teresa, not to call it love. The willingness to be a beginner is the enduring foundation of the Christian spiritual life, and in the end, our wanting to learn, not how far we've come, is what's most important.

Thanks!

Thanks: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier by Robert Emmons is a masterpiece for anyone interested in their own spiritual health. I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Emmons in a 2007 lecture in Houston. If you ever doubted the role of gratitude in healthy spirituality and human wholeness, then this book is for you. Actually, this volume is a must read for our own well being, especially as we offer spiritual care to others.

Emmons maintains that gratitude not only is good for those who practice it, but also, motivates us to do good. It seems that gratitude is "in season" right now; however, within everyone is what the author believes is a "set point" for happiness. Practicing gratitude can increase a person's capacity for happiness significantly. The paradigm of the book is that gratitude and happiness fulfill and complete each other. The happiness/gratitude cycle includes both enjoying and recognizing good gifts, good intentions. "Everything looks better when it is seen as a gift," Chesterton stated. So if we can see life and the constituent parts of life as a gift, we are well on the way to living at a deeper, more fulfilling, level.

Because the psychology of gratitude has impressive research behind it, it is not a new happy-ology, or the latest in the power of positive thinking. The counting of blessings counters the adaptation humans have to whatever is good in our lives. Like guinea pigs on a treadmill, we adapt to life as we have it and even life as we want it sometimes. It's true that some of us are naturally more grateful. What the disciplines (psychologists will call them interventions) of gratitude do is to raise our set point for gratitude and happiness, while also dealing with real barriers to gratitude, such as daily hassles, entitlement, or trauma.

The researchers never maintain that a gratitude practice is magical, nor is it easy. It is simply a powerful tool and resource for health, and in my opinion, spirituality. The keeping of a daily gratitude journal for 30 days, for example, impacts depressive symptoms for six months! A one-time "gratitude visit" can have the same impact for 30 days!

I recommend this book, or even Emmons' Words of Gratitude, a lighter read. Or check out the latest from myauthentichappiness.com.

You Make Me Want to be a Better Person!

We hear too much about being accountable, which seems always to address the letter of the law. A variety of covenant groups meet to report on the presence or absence of specifically Christian practices of the members. Church hierarchies ask clergy to self report an inventory of bodies and bucks that will be used in assessing the effectiveness of the self-same clergy. Sort of a built-in conflict of interest there, don't ya think?

Whereas the behaviors, practices, fruits, or numbers can be used as a measure, accountability's style of relationship is more transactional, and it runs on power over to define what success is. Everything depends on who decides what constitutes accountability. The bare minimum is neatly laid out. Those always touting accountability are what Charles Dickens would call the "grad grinds;" they inhabit a place in the food chain and status quo of institutions.

Loyalty, or being counted on, is much different. It deals with the relational aspects of motivation and why I would want to change in the first place. Being counted on addresses the whole person and not just a slot on an organizational ladder. The core of loyalty is transformational.

The best leaders are transformational, and free others- a separate universe from those whose only real authority is title or organizational control. When we are loyal, we want to do our best, not just because of institutional goals, but because we have the backs of those with whom we're serving. We become more than servants- we become friends! We want to do our best. We become our own best person, not because we have to, but because we will it.

"You make me want to be a better person," Jack Nicholson told Helen Hunt in As Good As It Gets. And that, I believe, IS as good as it gets!

Clergy Wind-Up Toys

Do you remember the era of wind-up toys? Every June, our family would gather at my grandfather's home for his birthday. He would share his collection of wind-up toys for the adults and children to enjoy. I think my Dad, who also collected these things reveled in this time as much as we kids did. As we matured, we made fun of company yes men who went to work with their brief cases and had, we imagined, a huge key in their back that, when wound-up, made them all look and act the same way.

Bureaucracies like church structures live in a bubble and see only a part of the world. For the sake of self-preservation, we block out what we don't want to see, feel, and engage. The effect is to numb any pain with the addictions or the drugs of choice the organization offers: recognition, promotion, rewards, status, reputation, success. The theme becomes clergy heroics 101 or minister show-and-tell.

And so, well intentioned folks say things like "These numbers reflect souls, and that's why numbers are so important." No, numbers are important. Period. The system likes numbers. Period. But number reporting is only one small measure of accountability, if that. Call it what it is: reporting numbers.

More reflective self awareness and honesty would admit that we regularly censor ourselves and others for the sake of the institution. We wonder why young adults are not interested in joining their allegiance to such an order? They see reality- they took the other pill, Neo. They see us very differently than we see ourselves. Maybe they see the great disconnect between what we say is important (people's pain, mission in the world) and what we really value (looking good and organizational maintenance).

A sabbath from year-end reports? A one time Jubilee?? That would be too easy, make far too much sense. It could only be done if you truly value something above those reports. I guess we haven't found what that something is. Or just don't see the disconnect.

Addictive organizations and those that serve them are not generally reflective, do not see the disconnects between corporate speak and what or whom is really valued, thrive on control, and lurch from crisis to crisis. They heroically jump to do good without first applying the check of first doing no harm.

Another Lousy Night for Atheism?

When reliever Brad Lidge declared his gratitude to God and Jesus Christ for his game saving performance in the final game of the 2008 World Series, I thought, "Here we go again!"

Bringing a Championship glow to the hard living city of Philadelphia, he was just being sincere. The right hander is all the way back from that fateful blast off the bat of Albert Puholz in the post season of a few years ago. But this victory was about this city and this team, he said. Still, it's a remarkable story of recovery.

I am happy for Brad, former Astro, and also to Charlie Manuel, former Indians manager and the one who taught Manny and Thome alot about hitting. Anyway, it's great to see that both Brad and Charlie made good on the opportunities and the second chances the Phillies gave them. Both men had the courage to face their fears. Good for them and the Phillies!

Transcendence, or the ability to see the big picture, is one of the virtues listed by Seligman in the article on "The State of Positive Psychology" on this blog. I recommend it whatever your persuasion. Under "transcendence," there are several character traits: among them are hope, appreciation of beauty and excellence, gratitude, meaning or purpose (religiousness), and humor.

My thought is that Brad's expression of gratitude is beautiful; if he had been ungrateful, it would have been ugly. Having no one to thank is a terribly lonely stance toward life. Which is why I think that for every Atheist, there is a story. Often it's not at first about cogent logic as much as being wounded or abused by others, among them Christians.

The Dip for Clergy

Nurturing the Old vs. Birthing the New is a great topic for ministry because no matter what you are doing, there are always some things that need to die so that you can give your energy to birthing something worthy of your time and energy.

I like the idea of the Dip as set forth by Seth Godin. When to quit and when to stick is the book's theme. Sometimes clergy mistake rigidity for faithfulness. I've seen some folks have a success or two and figure that those successes can be transplanted to every other church they will ever serve. Many pastors stay too long, waiting out the last few years until retirement and very content to ride whatever wave is left.

But whether you stay with it and work through the dip or decide to quit at the right time, dips do exist. Learning how to face them honestly and ask the right questions is probably most important. It's in the long term where most of the rewards are.

Here are some questions on which to reflect regarding the dip:

1. Are you currently approaching, in, or beyond the dip in your setting? Why or why not? For Godin, the dip just starts shortly after what we would call the honeymoon as pastors.
2. What currently sets you apart from others in your field?
3. How can you narrow your focus instead of widening it?
4. How can you become, or are you already, one of a few instead of one of many?

Godin suggests that the smaller supply favors the one who has greater focus. The dip is an interesting concept for second half clergy and makes one wonder if the learning and experiences for them are in part, the uniqueness they have to offer. After all, wisdom always seems to be in short supply.

Last Campaign - a Great Read!

Thurston Clarke's The Last Campaign: Robert F. Kennedy and 82 Days that Inspired America is a riveting account of the 1968 Democratic Primary campaign of Senator Bobby Kennedy. For many reasons, this book is a worthy read regardless of your persuasion.

One, for anyone attracted to idealism, it's a lesson in the costs of those ideals. This is the story of how, in the national turbulence that was 1968, R.F.K. became more and more his own man. In a very short time, an 82 day campaign, the national soul was touched and lifted. Most would say to this day that Kennedy's life and mission was left unfinished- so much died with him the night he was shot in June, 1968. At the same time, one cannot help but appreciate what was accomplished in the space of a few days. Clarke attempts to answer how Robert Kennedy touched our national character by beginning his narrative with the funeral train route, and the crowds that gathered along those tracks to say good-bye. The rest of the book is the story of how our nation's politics were changed in this campaign- and WHY those crowds gathered around that funeral train route.

The book's relevance is unmistakable. Was Kennedy's campaign also the last campaign to inspire and lift us with what we share, what connects us as Americans and as citizens of the world? Was this the last campaign to call us to unite rather than divide? The year, 1968, was one of inner-city violence, assassinations of leaders, war protests, and ugliness of domestic poverty. Kennedy's dual message was consistent and clear: violence is not the answer (respect others and obey the law) and justice was needed. In the cauldron of 1968, both were urgently needed, and RFK was the lone voice in the primaries holding white and black America to the same standard.

Kennedy, according to Clarke, was an authentic witness for non-violence AND law and order because of his personal experience with violence, his older brother's assassination in 1963. He could also stand for social justice because of the time he spent with the sharecroppers of the Mississippi Delta, native Americans in South Dakota, farm workers in California, and his own work with a New York anti-poverty foundation. The time he spent with the poorest Americans was of course questioned by some staffers because, of course, there's no political advantage in being with people who don't vote.

In reading The Last Campaign, I learned more about my country and a hero that I had only idealized since I was ten years old. Although the end of this story is always depressing, the gift of time continues to clarify Kennedy's contribution. In a way, he accomplished more in the space of those 82 days than some of us do over the course of our lives. His campaign touched our national soul and psyche in a way that was and continues to be irrefutable. We can do amazing things with the gift of our lives in a short amount of time, and we can make our significant contribution in whatever time we have left. That's a great learning from this book. And that's inspiring!

A Good Christian Death

Is as much about how we have lived than how we die. The main ingredient in dying well is having lived well.

Jeremy Taylor, in the 17th century, noted several components to the “good” death: hope, forgiveness, reconciliation, and a good Christian life. Our picture may include being at peace without discomfort, at home (natural setting) and surrounded by those we love.

An early version of the Anglican Prayer Book (1552) advises for the dying person to be in charity with the world, seeking forgiveness and offering it, thoughtfully disposing of wealth, making a will, and putting all affairs in order.

I hate the word closure because it always seems to be used without appreciation of the power of grief; grief is more like an open, rather than a closed book. Sense of completion and coalescing, rather than closure, is more important for those who are in the stages of grief and death.

Texting Can Kill You

What about the dangers of texting while doing other simple tasks, like walking? One ER Dr. has issued AWTTW (a word to the wise). Texters who walk into traffic or drivers who hit someone while texting have at least a very bad habit. (From an unpublished paper by Adlard, "Multitasking is Becoming a Bad Habit for Many")

Human brains do not multitask, but instead refocus each time a new task is presented. There is also research that suggests that the hippocampus, a memory function of the brain, does not work during multitasking. This results in poor concentration, and compromised work quality due to memory failure. In addition, multitasking many hours each day understandably stresses the brain, and this stress can lead to breakdowns in our health and maladies such as high blood pressure.

Balance is the key to texting as tool and not a bad or worse, a dangerous habit. So, yes, while texting can kill you, doing many things without thought or reason can also become harmful.

Multitasking and the New Cultural ADD

Can we put texting in the rear view mirror?

I can save an easy ten minutes in the morning by shaving with my Norelco triple Header while driving to work. I can save a few more minutes by having a snack breakfast during drive time. I usually don't use my cell while driving and I don't own a Blackberry, but I am still considered a multitasker according to Allstate Insurance.

What's the deal with multitasking if it saves time, and helps you to be more productive? A certain amount of it is inevitable and probably helpful. It's just discovering what works for you that can be difficult. With the plethora of new gadgets streaming out to American consumers, multitasking is not only here to stay, but also, there will be more and more opportunities to be a member of the club!

If multitasking is hurting you or at least compromising your safety, quality of work, stress management, or health, then it's probably time for some re-assessment.

Whatever happened to concentrating on one thing at a time? We may learn to see deeper connections only by single-tasking. Rather than skimming the surface of life, by focusing on one thing, we can actually live at a deeper level.

But think of the creative and strategic benefits of seeing new connections that single-tasking allows! The time and brain energy saved because life is no longer a constant doing over and refocusing. The appreciation people will have when those before you have your undivided pastoral attention and spiritual care as a valued child of God.

Hurricane Ike- Yikes! A Comment on the Illusion of Control

Fresh from the despair of Hurricane Ike is my first post on the unpredictability of life. Spiritually, adults prefer something they can count on and so certainty really sells, especially in religion. Certainty is a long way from faith though and that's a problem. In biblical terms, as the ancient Israelites journeyed into the land of Canaan, so they created for themselves a more settled, stable, and predictable existence. Sane and reasonable beats unplanned and happenstance every time, right?

Israel's spiritual life mirrored their travels. Prophets like Hosea would look on the Exodus and wanderings as a time when Israel and Yahweh were alone, as if bride and groom on their honeymoon. Oh well, before one golden calf. It was only as Israel moved from nomadic to agrarian culture that Yahweh began to have more rivals, and idolatry become an issue. Predictability, comfort, convenience, stability, required more and more gods insure the fertility of the land, the foundation of economic life.

Henotheism is the worship one God among many others, and that is probably the best description of ancient Israel's rise and fall. Does that shoe fit the church? While we say we worship the One and Only, there is attention paid and energy given to other pursuits that will guarantee a sense of security and certainty as well as protection of our comforts and conveniences.

Choosing Exodus and not Settlement as your spiritual model means you are probably closer to the spirit of Jesus since he spoke of his great work as his departure or "exodus." In preparation for the hurricane, we were told to "hunker down" and wait it out. In the spiritual life, hunkering down can be deadening. It's all about being free to choose God, and receive and follow the movement of God in your life. Sometimes that means letting go of the idolatry of certainty and the illusion of control.

The Codependent Pastor

"It is none of your business what other people think of you."

This recently heard quote from a friend in ministry really sums up what many of us pastoral types need to hear, but are afraid to own for ourselves. It is a freeing moment to realize that trusting our reputation to a faithful Creator is a gift we can give ourselves and those we serve. (cf. I Peter 4: 19)

Of course we don't want people to hate us. There is pastoral risk in saying no to the wrong person as well as in our aversion to conflict and disagreement. Instead of being outer directed, which most pastors are, it may be time to look at our core, our center, our true self, not as servant, but as beloved child of God, the lover of our soul. Our identity in Christ is the origin and source of good in our lives. Which makes me want to protect the reputation of others, to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Being more liked or less liked is not the goal; being real is. Pleasing others is not the goal of the Christian life; pleasing God, learning to be true to God's own image within are worthy of our best efforts and devotion.

Fixing People Leads to Burnout

Reasons for burnout are varied. Here are some I have observed.

1. Poor boundaries; pleasing others. I heard a great question today in a supervisory group for interns. What, if anything, truly offends you? Become more aware of yourself. Most pastors want to be so liked that they don't think any behavior will offend them. But even Jesus got ticked in a righteous sort of way. Denial of who we are only leads to bad self care.

2. Poor time management. Wasting time only leads to more stress in dealing with deadlines. Because crisis situations requiring our quality presence happen at any time, maintaining and honoring a schedule is a time stewardship issue. We have to manage what is in our power to control. Time is a gift.

3. Comparison thinking, ingratitude. Alot of times, we may feel that we don't fit the needs of the setting. We are unfair to ourselves and others when we engage in comparison thinking. It drains on our energy, keeping us from enjoying and using the gifts we do have.

4. Unprocessed grief- in ourselves and congregations. Think of the volume of grief we encounter. It's incredible. If we don't take time to grieve our losses, personal and congregational, the symptoms will appear down the line. We will eventually pay the cost of not attending to this most powerful human emotion.

5. Lack of peer support. They never told us within the hallowed halls of Duke Divinity School that we cannot make it alone in ministry. If they did, I didn't hear it. Nouwen's book, The Wounded Healer shattered the idea that our lives are somehow untouched by pain and suffering of others. We need others with whom we can be vulnerable.

Peace!

Monday's Daily Morvian Text: John 21:6

I've found the Daily Moravian Texts a great help in my spiritual practice. The daily e-version of it is available below, and here at www.moravian.org. I was introduced to the Daily Texts by Fredrick Herzog, my professor at Duke Divinity School. He would open each class with the reading and his own personal reflection.

Today's New Testament text:
Jesus said to them, "Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some." So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish.

If the first half adulthood is about establishing ourselves in the world, then what's the second half all about? Maybe it's more about our inner world, our spirit, then it is about mastery and control over our environment. It seems that we work very hard at maintaining ourselves, our safety, security, comfort, and convenience and if there is any time, energy, and motivation, then we will look at the state of our own spirit.

For clergy this rings true when it comes to the typical standards for measuring "success": buildings, butts in pews, budgets. It was about five years ago that "standards for measuring clergy effectiveness" included a person's spiritual well-being, not just outer accomplishments.

At any age, we cannot lead others to a place we where have not been. For clergy, to try the right side of the boat means to become aware of what has been left undeveloped or underdeveloped within. It means attending to the living Spirit of God, the Risen Christ, the source and origin of our ministry. It means to go where we haven't been fishing to find the basic resources that were there all along.

The risen Christ be with you!

HALT for Clergy

One of my colleagues shared a learning from the 12-Step community. It is a reminder to stop and reassess situations and make better decisions. It requires us to be aware of self-needs so that we don't act out of our worst selves.

HALT stands for hungry, angry, lonely, tired. When I am too hungry, angry, lonely, tired, I should hold off making decisions and taking actions while caring for the need that presents itself.

We all have our limits. The clergy and church professional trap is that we should be like Jesus and empty ourselves regardless of cost. That idea comes from a poor reading of Philippians 2:7: "He emptied himself and became a slave when he became one of us." (CEV) What Jesus was emptying himself of was his divinity, his God-ness, in order to become one of us, to take on a physical body.

A more helpful reading might suggest that the flow of our life together may be one that takes us beyond just self-concern in mind and spirit and action. We need emptying of ego. We need deliverance from our ourselves. The verses that proceed the hymn (Philippians 2: 1-5) seem to bear this out.

The choice is often between playing the role of superman/superwoman OR ordinary human being, albeit filled with the Spirit and fully alive in Jesus. The super-clergyperson does not HALT; the one who is growing in awareness of themselves sees the wisdom of doing so.

Another Membership Vow? Five and Counting...

In a perfect example of the top down style that is the United Methodist Church, our primary governing body, General Conference, "voted in" a new membership vow this year. "Witness" is now added to our other vows to grow in our presence, praying, giving, and serving as disciples of Jesus.

I have no doubt that witness is a great choice (I don't know what the other ones were). However, I am not confident that adding another vow will transform us into something we are not. Surely a plethora of materials will help us interpret this new vow to congregations and to individuals.

But adding witness is not going to help us if we have failed to teach the full breadth of what the other vows mean. Prayers, presence, gifts, and service, all witness to who we are and to whom we belong to as Christ's people. So my suggestion is not to look at it as a fifth vow, even though that is what may be intended. Instead, look at faithful witness as the natural outcome of growth in each of the other four areas of growth as a disciple: presence, prayers, gifts, and service.

Bittersweet Monday

Late this morning, I took my youngest child and only son to college for the first time and left him there with my blessings and prayers. The short drive back to Houston by myself from Texas A & M (TAMU) was not especially fun. But I am glad I did it and he was of course appreciative. This week is the week before classes start and we had already moved a car load of stuff Saturday.

Today, however, was different. From now on, he will be a college student and we will be visiting him there. He is out of the house and becoming more and more his own person. Not that he hasn't been becoming his own person for the last 18 years.

Alex William, get some decent sleep tonight. Remember that you are all we hoped for in a son and in a person. You have taught me how to be a better dad and Christian and person. You have your own horizon now, one to which God is calling only you. We'll always be here for you. And love you. Your Mom and I are overjoyed that you are kind of person you are!

Have a great week and we'll see you Sunday for Convocation!

Staff Ministry for You?

When a decision was made to be a career associate pastor, a mentor helped me to discern the direction by helping me list the advantages and disadvantages. Here's a list based on 22 years as a staff pastor, and 3 years in extension ministry. It bears a little resemblance to the list I started with in the 1980's.

Consolations:

Generally a saner schedule; family time can be a higher priority
Urban areas may allow better job opportunities for spouse
Often more choice in ministry settings (churches)
Ministry roles can offer greater specialization; expertise
Closer working connection to other clergy than solo pastors

Desolations:

Much of depends on the quality of working relationship with supervisor(s)
The level of compensation is usually less if moving from a staff to a solo pastorate
In specializing, you will sometimes miss doing other parts of the pastoral ministry
Learning to handle triangulation, such as between parishioners and supervisors
Lack of equipping across denomination in healthy staff dynamics for associates

Most of our seminary training assumes solo pastoring, so the bias still seems to be against career associate ministry. They see themselves as serving the areas of their locality or region. For example, Duke Divinity in the 1980's served primarily the rural parish of the south. Look also at the church in which you were formed. I have tended to look favorably on the associate role because my home church was larger and had many associates in my formative years. Some became close friends and mentors. So it might be helpful to look at your faith pilgrimage and size of the church that shaped your calling.

I've observed a trend of some faster growing churches to hire more part time staff than full time clergy. In general, it takes a very long time for churches to make decisions about adding new clergy, so there's usually not much change in the market for staff associates. In at least the last 15 years, it seems that that larger churches have looked more for associates with specialties in administrative and executive skills or preaching ability. Maybe more congregations are following Lyle Shaller's advise in his book The Very Large Church. This is an excellent book for those already in or now considering career staff ministry.

Creating an Intentional Ministry in the UMC Matrix

In the hybrid of hierarchy and 18Th century democracy that is the UMC, creating an intentional ministry is a must for your own growth as a pastor. Those who serve in a call system seem take a much more assertive, and in my opinion, healthy approach. Their scheme requires self-definition whereas hierarchical churches encourage more passivity in the face of appointments that are largely out of one's control. The machinations are done by a group of mostly older "cabinet" members absent from those who are being relocated. Usually totally in the dark, the pastor waits days or weeks by the phone to hear what assignment is being considered for him or her.

We have changed a little since 1784. But the appointment system, like a holdover from King George himself, has not gone away, at least for the medium and smaller sized churches. Funny the appointment system in the Anglican Church in the 1700's was not favorable to John Wesley or his father Samuel. Both priests in the church, they did not ascend the ladder, and in fact John, Methodism's founder, was eventually prevented from preaching in most English churches. The same church often refused the Sacraments to those who followed him, people called "methodist." Being pushed out is sort of the way the church grows sometimes (see Acts 8). So if you are creating an intentional ministry as a UM pastor, you are walking in our founder's pathway at least and maybe in the footsteps the apostles!

Why the history lesson? Because getting back to your center in ministry is imperative in your being alive in ministry. Define your core, your center, your mission statement in ministry. That will help you to say no and also to say yes to your gifts that the Holy Spirit has given you. And I think you will be more exhilarated, more alive!

Perhaps you won't get much help creating an intentional ministry based on your gifts. My experience is that seminaries still judge their performance based on how many of their graduates supply churches. We harp on "call" in ordination processes and then the word goes away in reference to being "called" to serve a concrete setting. It is all about becoming a pastor, a generalist, becoming well rounded and balanced.

Making peace with the system is important. And so is creating intentionality. That's why we have chaplains, associate pastors, and many extension ministry assignments. And, those who "feel called" to birth new churches. Those words actually come from the hierarchy itself, one of the few times we hear the word "called" regarding an actual appointment. A sign of hope and health I believe.

Peace!

The Overfunctioning Minister: Live Well , Do Good

"Struggle is not a good strategy for the new world. Joy is the strategy," Donna Schaper writes in her book, Living Well While Doing Good. While I enjoyed reading this short volume by the UCC Clergywoman, I appreciate more the theme of how clergy can discover balance in their lives, personally, socially, spiritually, and professionally: "The success of the intervention depends on the inner quality of the person doing the intervention. In other words, if I am not well. I probably won't do good." (p.89).

Since most clergy I know still think they are going to save the world, or want to make a visible difference, Schaper's writing seems to be somewhat reactive and corrective: she is coming to terms with her own over functioning as social activist pastor. Building smaller fires, keeping a good light, using the Leave It Alone Committee as much as the Let's Do It Committee are all metaphors she uses to preach and teach simplicity and discern the best use of the gifts and time.

Her personal examples are excellent in teaching the concrete steps of simplifying life. I found the best chapters to be on simplifying: control (her weekly schedule is shared), conflict, size, and joy. One of the things I appreciate about the book is the fact that Schaper can talk about both gardening and global warming, "What is impractical is spring in winter, not banning cars." (p. 111). She can speak about the American cocoon as well as finding the courage to cross the threshold from vegging out in front of the TV room to the home and to the community.

There's No Such Thing As 'Political Capital'

This term is a misnomer, because as soon as you use it, you lose it. Power only increases when it's use is restrained. You might remember the unfortunate use of this term in a not too distant State of the Union speech. People now think that somehow power is a commodity sort of like anything else; it's just all up to us when and how to use it.

But as soon as you use it, it's gone and so are you. That kind of use of power sees others as pawns to move around, over, or through. To be distanced. The only thing it serves is transactional leadership, pro quid quot, this for that. But not transformational.

This gives new meaning to the "renewing and restraining" work of the Holy Spirit, words from many a baptismal prayer. It may have been prayed over you at your own baptism. Know restraint, know power. No restraint, no power.

Peace!

Hall of Fame Weekend: Phony and Real Leaders

Some who call themselves the leader are, in fact, not. For example, in family systems theory, often the true leader is not the one who has the overt, official title or role. For example, many women were actually the leaders and the "quarterbacks" of their families, even though males may have had the higher status culturally.

In systems like churches, it is interesting to see who the real leaders are. They are not always the ones who tout it and shout it. In fact, these folks may be more insecure than really confident in their own sense of leadership.

My gold standard of leadership is very similar to what Marty Shottenhiemer said when he was coaching his first NFL team, the Cleveland Browns. He said the greatest of all coaches are the ones who are, first of all, able to see a future Hall of Famer and then, to assume the responsibility for this potential to be realized. If the player is supposed to make it to Canton, Ohio, then the greatest coaches make sure that destiny is fulfilled.

Leaders are true developers and know how to maximize the folks around them. They encourage, not coerce. Their love for people shows because they respect others. More than their idea of leadership. You are blessed if you get to be in ministry with such a leader. They are truly rare indeed.

John Maxwell can write fifty more books on leadership, I don't care! If I could choose to be the kind of leader that Marty described, I would, by God's grace and gift.

Death, Hammer Chords, Amazing Endings and Such

I know death is not really in vogue. That's part of the reason we have "Celebration of Life" services instead of memorials or funerals. But like the hammer chords in a symphony, death is the finale from this life. And death can be for life what hammer chords are to great symphonies.

This morning one of the first things I did was to air Beethoven's 8th, the symphony with 20+ hammer chords. It sort of sets the record for such in music history. Thanks to Bob Dugan, former music teacher, band director at Horace Mann Middle School in Lakewood, Ohio, I first heard this amazing ending in 7th grade and have loved it ever since.

As a Christian pastor, one gets way above average exposure to death and grief. The story of each ending is punctuated by hammer chords which speak of life, not always just painful, often helpful and healing, consummating the parts of the symphony which may have not made sense, tying the whole together in a way that transcends our judgments and labeling. Or reasoning it out: "It was such a blessing" or "It was God's will."

Maybe this gift can only be seen and received by those closest to, most intimate with the departed. I think of the story of Jesus and Mary in the garden. In the Gospels, most all of Jesus' appearances after Easter were to those closest to him. Our discomfort or fear, as well as our distancing from death easily deafens our ears to the hammer chords sounded by the end of life.

The Spirituality of Shattered Dreams

The pain of disillusionment is equal to the level of false expectations we allow. If the spiritual life was presented as a one-size-fits-all formula for success, then, everything that requires effort and presents a challenge could be an occasion to throw in the towel. Whether we are talking about marriage, church membership, or Christian discipleship, pain is relative to the extent that our expectations are connected to reality.

Hebrews 11 helps us to see the Old Testament story through the colors of death and resurrection, not in terms of promise and fulfillment. That's because God's promises can always be twisted to address whatever I want. Taken together, Moses, who didn't enter the land (see Deut. 34), and David, who didn't build the Temple (2 Sam. 7:1-7), and Jesus, who wasn't delivered from his fate (Luke 22: 39 ff.) represent a strong biblical theme missing in the shallow faith of name it and claim it churchianity. It is the forgotten message God offering resurrection in the ashes of our dreams, our disillusionment.

When I entered full time ministry twenty five years ago, I had hoped that my prior student pastorates "would count" in future appointments. That somehow, I could skip the "Plum Run" or "Turkey Switch" churches because I had already pastored an isolated, isolating rural parish.
I quickly learned that the system doesn't look at such considerations. Instead it needs folks who will take what is offered the first time, or perhaps suffer the consequences later. Or folks who make a decision fairly early on what their ministry is going to be about. That is intentionality.

You can't change the system but you can define and re-define yourself with the gifts God has given you. There is a great need in the church for truth telling instead of false build-ups, whether it's a church appointment or the Christian way of life being sold. Do ya think we could save some pain, do less harm, if we just told folks the truth about suffering the death of our dreams, and through those tears, seeing the resurrected One? The One who alone offers new life beyond our wants and wishes?

What's Simple about Being Christian?

That's what Tom Wright addresses in his 237 page volume, Simply Christian.

What I appreciated about the book:

• The metaphors used and explained, i.e., baptism (pp. 212 and following).
• The positive view of the Old Testament/Israel as informing our reading of the New Testament/Jesus, not the other way around.
• The centering of Christian faith on gratitude as response for what God has done. (p. 209)
  
• The discussion on the New Creation was excellent. **

What I did not appreciate:

• Started slowly; length. You would expect a book with simple in the title to be briefer and "simpler."
  
• Written by clergyperson for church persons?
• No Index was provided, this aspect took away from the reading.

**"Resurrection doesn't mean going to heaven when you die." (p.218) and "...God did for Jesus at Easter what he is going to do for the whole creation." (p.236). At death, there is an interim period when we are with Christ (call it heaven), but after that interim, a new bodily life is given within God's new creation, the new heaven and earth.

Simply Christian lends it self to a group study/discussion of 6-8 weeks and could be used with a variety of audiences, probably more with groups of seasoned believers.

Getting Off the Ride!

Cedar Point in Sandusky Ohio...I remember trying in vane to shout to a ride attendant, "Stop this ride, or I'm gonna heave!!" The pace we live sometimes gives us a feeling of denying instead giving life. My mother, the 85 year old R.N. who has taught childbirth and grandparent classes for the last 25 years, has the right prescription.

If we are currently doing nothing to really to care for ourselves in terms of diet and exercise, take thirty minutes a day out to do some that engages you and that you enjoy. This doesn't include vegging out in front of the T.V.The other thing we can do is to do something that relaxes us before going to bed. Something that prepares us simply and easily.

These are two practices that almost anyone can begin with ease. You can start it right where you are!

Peace.

A Lousy Night to Be An Atheist Indeed

While last night might have a bad night for atheists who happened to be watching the Home Run Derby, I found Josh Hamilton's record first round of homers incredible. His references to God's grace in the interviews which followed (which I didn't hear about until earlier today) is something I hope we can all claim for ourselves.

If the atheist has trouble explaining the grace operative in human life and all of creation, then Christians are those who should be shouting it from the rooftops. If the atheist is challenged to see life as gift instead of chance, then Christians could be world leaders in gratitude.

It's sad that we often impose limits when speaking of the vast and inexhaustible grace of God. Our words betray this whenever we say, "There but the grace of God go I." Does that mean that, due to whatever calamity or hardship that has happened to someone else, they are therefore outside of God's grace? And we who are in God's grace are quite fine, thank you. Instead we might more honestly say, "Better them and not me!" Really, why bring God into it? It would also allow grace to be bigger than we are.

Using and Misusing the Name

It is about more than ugly, angry, hateful language. That's bad enough. One of the many things I like about the CEV* is its translation of Commandment #3: Do not misuse my name." (Exodus 20: 7) While taking the name Christian, #3 is also about the way we use the name of God, especially the ways we "bear false witness," or misrepresent God, Jesus, and Christian faith by our actions and our attitudes.

It is here that I often turn to I Peter 4:17 and the sense that God's judgment begins with God's own people, with those who claim God's name. I find that especially helpful when the question about who's in and who's out are inevitably raised (usually by those who think they are inside).

So claiming the name is tied to covenant keeping, and responsibility. Otherwise, we tend to be very flippant with God's name, using it to bless actions both individual and corporate that may be in disharmony with our words.

*The CEV (1995) usually keeps me from misusing the Bible, which is why I like it. For example, in John's Gospel, "Jewish leaders" is used where most other translations use "the Jews." (John 20:19) To me, The CEV's translation seems to make more sense when reading the New Testament narrative.

Marx, Micah, and Drugs of Choice

Is it religion that is is the opiate of the people or are opiates the religion of people (Micah 2:11)? Either one is not a very high view of religion.

When religion becomes an opiate, we call it by its right name, "feel good faith." If that is the main purpose of my spiritual practice, then it is probably true that my religion, for me, is an opiate, something which helps me to feel good in my pain. Or to ignore, deny, or run away from it. Love of God and neighbor? That would come after the primary goal of feeling good.

In a similar way, Hebrew prophets like Jeremiah (6: 14) and Micah were critical of the kind of religion that only smooths over, doesn't rock the boat, and deals lightly with human wounds of spirit. The problem is that such leadership offers to heal wounds "lightly," while our brokenness is anything but an abbreviated experience. We want to forget about it and not have to think about it anymore. That's what "feel good" faith does for us.

Feeling good, however, is not necessarily the opposite of genuine faith- not at all. It is just not the aim of the Christian spiritual life. Growth toward loving God and others as ourselves might deliver us from confusing faith in Jesus with drugs of choice. There is a religion of glitter, a self deception of claiming the name of Christ only, as in "Christian." Spiritual well- being includes healthy self-awareness- and seeing what kind of impact your faith has on others.

Words We Don't Hear in Church

Did George Carlin go PC- or did he just get the last laugh? One fine day about 15 years ago, I was watching "Thomas the Tank Engine" with my young son. "Thomas the Tank Engine" was a wonderful program for young children but narrated by none other than Carlin himself! Carlin surely got off- at the "dazed and confused" generation's expense- on a really weird bit of irony! With my thanks to blogger Martha Hoverson over at www.ccblogs.org, what are some of the words you can't say in church? I am a child of the 60's and 70's and enjoyed Carlin's satire which often pointed out our own idiocy and hypocrisy. You can, of course, think of Carlin's original seven words as now being a little more acceptable in the general culture.

To twist it the other way, there are some words we regularly hear on the news and in general that we just don't hear much in church: torture (ironic that Jesus was a torture victim). Another is global warming (thank you P. Johns). While we drive to get another one at Starbucks, food vs. fuel would be a phrase that we could add. And thanks, in part to Starbucks, fair trade. Other phrases would be the adverb buying, with any number of nouns, such as buying humans (slavery). Closely linked to buying is war profits. Yet another is corporate greed. We could name more, but these are the start of a good seven.

Why are these words used everywhere but don't seem to be part of the general discourse of church settings? "What we have here is failure to communicate." (Cool Hand Luke)

Words that Really Don't Work in Church

There are a few words that I have heard that I would not use, under any circumstances, and this has nothing to do with being politically incorrect, and everything to do with basic human decency. I wouldn't use any word that ridicules, threatens, or dehumanizes others by their gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or national origin, disability, or really, for any other reason. The joke I thought was cute wasn't worth telling because it was demeaning at least.

Again, I have heard different epithets used from a variety of American pulpits, and guess what? Even if the word was used to prove a point or as a confessional, the result of shock and regret did not really justify it. Words do harm and in these cases, more harm than any possible good. Even if it may be somehow cathartic for the speaker do it, there are other ways of confessing and for good reason. Most of them are not in front of the Sunday morning crowd.

I have also heard preachers tell all in such detail that they had lost me and surely others. I feel you do not have to subject others to this kind of pain. Doing so reflects a troubled spirit. You can be authentic without causing everyone else to freak. You can be honest by also being considerate, leaving enough space in your words for others to see and name their own darkness.

Who Defines Transformation?

Church nomenclature has transformation as one of the the latest and worn out expressions. Does anyone know what we mean by it?! Is there a possibility that anyone unconnected to church life knows what we are talking about? Transformation is term thrown around that has New Testament roots (Romans 12:1-2) and bears a close similarity to repentance or metanoia, a change of mind. If you are thinking in Hebrew, the word is more like a change in direction, a 180.

Not all "life-changing" experiences are favorable or positive, so transformation by itself could be seen as an empty expression. We need to ask what is being transformed, by whom, and for what purpose? If it is to be socialized for the dominant culture and church replete with the cultural idols of violence, nationalism, and affluence, then that is an entirely different meaning from the New Testament sense. Who defines transformation? If our way of measuring it is only the happy trinity of budgets, butts in pew, and buildings, then how is that transformational?

It seems that any honest use of this word should begin and probably end with repentance. It means a basic change from the normal human pattern of wanting to create gods in our image to serve us rather than to be shaped by the One and Only. At the least, transformation in Jesus is surrender to the One who is not boxed by our gimmicks. Much more, God challenges the folks who constantly use the Name for their own ends.

Servanthood or Friendship? Can You Have it Both Ways?

It would seem that servant-friendship is as much an oxymoron as servant-leadership, which is, in itself a creation of 70's corporate America. The UMC has really majored in this metaphor. Servanthood has dominated much of the denominational literature related to discerning and defining the call to ordained ministry. Of course, Jesus teaches his disciples- followers- to be servants of one another. But in a world that no longer recognizes slavery as it existed and functioned in the first century, we miss the the power of the image that Jesus used.

The gist of Jesus' teaching, as I see it in Luke 22:24 ff, is intended to diffuse power distinctions instead of reinforcing them. Ironically, we seem to use the word servanthhood to make more distinctions among us. In our ego-driven world, it is not long before we are at the game of determining who the best servant is.

Like alot of things in church and religion these days, the call to servanthood is often used on others. We bring the word out when we want. It is a very risky thing to surrender yourself to the Holy Spirit, because it means death and resurrection. And this is the missing piece: we cannot copy Jesus, but we can be obedient to the Christ in us and love the Christ in others.

That's why I am drawn to basic friendship as the healthiest model or metaphor for ordained ministry. If we had to describe what it could be or should be, I like friendship because it is much more personal. Friendship with each other and with Jesus seems to be the direction of the last Gospel, when Jesus calls his disciples friends, in direct contrast to being slaves. (John 15:15)

So if you can't have it both ways, here's my vote for FRIENDSHIP as the better way to describe what the pastoral role can be, perhaps is meant to be. Not that friendships with parishioners can or should ever take the place of friendships with peers. Remember, we are talking friendship as metaphor. The Celtic Christians, who talked about the soul friend (St. Bridget) and not the spiritual director, understood the importance of walking together (St. Aidan) humbly with God. (Micah 6:8) It's about mutuality.

So the point of the journey is not to repeat Jesus' own death, the laying down of his life, the emptying of his God-ness. We cannot copy Jesus. But we can live a Spirit formed life where others, because of our love for them, do not have to be sacrificed. We are FREE to act out of love, because we know what being a friend is. Which would be a transforming way to think about friendship and ministry, don't ya think?

Breaking through Storey's Cultural and Our Suburban"Bubble"

Preaching and teaching this week at the Texas Annual Conference, The Reverend Peter Storey, the long-time South African Pastor and former professor of Duke Divinity School, challenged clergy and laity alike to see anew what Jesus' friends look like. And, according to Storey, they are a somewhat different cast than many of the folks we have surrounding us in the UMC in America today.

In his Tuesday afternoon talk, Storey's remarks, by implication, drew stark parallels between white church life in South Africa before racial reconciliation and the current state of affairs in our own church. The more he described his location in South Africa, the more I saw similarities to our location in American suburban faith. For example, he mentioned that the current success of the prosperity gospel in Nigeria and elsewhere are actually transplants or copies from American preachers of weal.

Methodists should focus our concern on breaking out of the cultural bubble that keeps us from meeting the people that Jesus calls his friends: the poor, the untouchables, the unclean, the sick, the uneducated, the powerless, the oppressed. Instead of figuring out how to be "amateur politicians" in preparation for the next General Conference, we would better use our time by breaking out of the bubbled life that keeps us from encountering Jesus, who "always brings his friends with him!" WOW.

Well, there are some very concrete steps you can take to do this. It will refresh your spirit and your ministry but this growth also has to be a choice on a personal level. I offer some suggestions below, based on my personal experiences:

1. Volunteer for an activity at a long term care facility- they need you there! Many states have training for ombudsman (resident advocate) who visit nursing homes. And the training may be useful for anyone you already care for or about.

2. Participate in anything that gets you out of your comfortable faith community. The Amazing Faiths dialogues in Houston are done every fall and there are similar programs in Texas and New York. By the way, this program is based on the book, THE AMAZING FAITHS OF TEXAS.

3. Be a reading coach at a free and reduced meal school in your area. Help one or two students practice what they are learning.

You would be amazed at the friendships and connections that you will discover on the outside and a respect and appreciation for others that will be born on the inside. And you will meet some of Jesus' friends that have been missing from your life.

Peace to those who are near and to those who are far away! And thank you Peter!

Empty Nest- in Search of a Better Metaphor

Inspired by the graduation of my youngest child from high school, My wife and I are headed into the season when they are ready to be on their own but they can't yet be on their own. Their physical, emotional, and mental selves deign them ready, but their financial independence is still several years away.

For thirty years or so, the image for this transition in adolescence, when the kids first leave home for long periods (college) and finally move out and have their own place (career and possible family) has been described in a negative sense: empty nest. It assumes that everyone is just waiting around for the procession out of the house. Or that they are somehow pushed out of "the nest."

The more contemporary image of the launch is more positive. Its emphasis is on the adventure instead of a season of life coming to an end. We would rather think on the excitement of the journey than what is lost. Which brings up the idea of the journey as a spiritual quest.

The Celtic Christians of Europe's Dark Ages took on the journey as a spiritual call. Traveling long distances was apart of their cultural roots as Celts. As Christians, it became a dedication, a service to God. Columbanus taught that life is not a resting place, life is a road: “Let us concern ourselves with things divine, and as pilgrims ever sigh for and desire our homeland: let us ever ponder on the end of the road, that is of our life, for the end of the roadway is our home.” Seeking solitude for contemplation, monks traveled farther and farther away from their home in Ireland; some were never heard from again. This practice was called peregrinatio or “traveling for God.”

The launching phase for families is holy work and a journey for everyone- very difficult, rewarding, exciting, a struggle. And from Abraham to Paul, the movement toward God has always been WITH God. For this journey, the words from Moses of the Exodus are very appropriate: "The eternal God is your dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms." Deuteronomy 33:27

Peace!

Spotted Owl or Lemming?

Without commenting on the actual recruiting efforts or the various studies that have been touted regarding younger pastors, there is a sense in which every generation needs to be reached and who better than folks from their own generation? Remember the plethora of workshops on reaching baby boomers 20 years ago? There was a sense of urgency about reaching these folks then, many of which were baptized but never confirmed. But most clergy are now baby boomers. Second career, older clergy have been, in part, very functional in the system because they could be better equipped to pay their tuition, depending on their former employment. So for a long time, older, second career men and women seemed to be a very good fit for the system.

The x'ers as well as the millennials want and need a different church. In a few years, it will be all theirs! Too bad most churches are already comprised of many AARP-ers. Dwarfing the ordination process will help. If Annual Conferences really want control of clergy effectiveness, then why not sponsor the best blue chippers and pay for half (or more) of their seminary tuition? UM seminaries could offer more paid tuition for UM students, such as Brite Divinity does for its denominational students (Disciples of Christ). Is it unfair to expect young pastors from various income brackets to shoulder the expense solo for such a community endeavor?

It comes down to being the kind of church that values and respects others for who they are, not their sense of entitlement. Entitlement is one of the deadliest, costliest, and most pervasive forms of spiritual dis-ease we have today. It blights spiritual health and its harbingers, gratitude and appreciation. It ruins harmony and peace in the community and destroys personal well-being, and happiness. Cedric the Entertainer says in Barbershop: "You've got to give it to get it." He is talking about respect. We don't get much of it until we learn to give it, genuinely, in community. Whether "spotted owl" or "lemming."

Welcome: Is Blogging a Spiritual Discipline?

If you are someone I have recently met at the Perkins Mentor Training or General Conference, welcome to this blog! In it, I try to address concerns which I face as a 50+ yr. clergy person marking 25 years under appointment in the UMC! Feel free to reply with your comments or suggestions!

And the question comes out of my own pursuit of a spiritual practice. Blogging is writing and so it can be form of spiritual discipline. A spiritual director seems to agree and encourages likewise.

As you are probably aware, the UMC wants (is desperate?) to recruit younger (under 35+) clergy for its aging leadership. Many judicatories are starting special "spotted owl" settings where these folks can meet to experience more community and support. When it comes to clergy over 35, it seems if you have survived that long, you have been thoroughly institutionalized in a sense, and that in itself can take a toll on spirituality, not to mention mind and body health. So can life!

To serve and to give from the full cup is only healthy. To want this is a yearning that I believe is given to us by the One Spirit who called and gifted us. There are many ways to pursue this- but it comes down to a change in self rather than a change in the church at large. Or anything outside of the self.

When I was five years out of Duke Divinity and in my second staff position, the pastoral counselor (who happened to be a Presbyterian clergy), compared the clergy ladder to an "iceberg"- very difficult to ascend with lots of slipping and sometimes sliding down. I think he was pretty accurate on many levels, as well as the spiritual level. The official line from the institution is all about effectiveness while being spiritual. For the benefit of all concerned, I guess. "Clergy need both (fruitfulness and spirituality) in order to be successful," words spoken by a seminary leader just last year (L. Weems). But the motivation for your own health, self- care, and wholeness, has to come from you for you are the one who will reap the most immediate consequences.

A guided retreat with a spiritual director is a good start. There you will have a chance to reflect on where you are, where you need to be, and how you can begin a new spiritual practice to foster a deeper experience of God's love wherever you are.

Peace!

Prayed for or Preyed on?

So many are turned off by hypocrites.

It may begin with realizing some who call themselves real Christians are not real people. There is the disappointment that comes with knowing that the ones who use all the right religious words can also be the ones who can cause the most harm and injury to others. That is more serious than just pretense or hypocrisy. I have heard lately about secular employers, as well as churches, letting their employees or staff go, and in an effort to soften the blow and to claim that they are somehow "christian," these same folks who are cutting a person's job will claim they have prayed about the decision, or that they are praying for the soon to be departed.

One word for those who would want to use religious words to sugar coat a painful situation or to cover guilt, or to look good. Please don't do it, even if you happen to be sincere! Don't bring God into the pain of that moment. If you do, you not only injure that person's sense of God, if there was one, but also you can make prayer an instrument of harm. God is not the cause of this action and your referencing God has no place in what may feel like, or may be in reality, being thrown out on the street.

In my opinion, much of what we do in taking God's name in vain is not just ugly or hurtful language (see Exodus 20:7), it is also using God's name to minimize, not to bless others. The CEV reads, "Do not misuse my name." If everytime I hear God and I am manipulated or lied to, then I begin to associate God with being manipulated, lied to, or even abused. So misusing God applies to people who take the name Christian and use it to degrade.

We would be healthier if we just owned it ourselves. Be healthy.

Avoiding Toxic Relationships

Working within a framework of pastoral and congregational health and wholeness, the pastoral-congregational relationship can be nurturing and encouraging when enough participants are seeking discipline in the spiritual life. However, when there is a conspiracy between the pastor and church to run the congregation as a small business, pastoral relationships can easily become distorted.

What is healthy pastoral self-care? According to Lloyd Rediger in The Toxic Congregation, most of us think we are modeling time and commitment and energy to ministry when what we are really doing is mostly neglecting self care, making ourselves vulnerable to mind-body-spirit breakdowns while missing the chance to show parishioners what they really need: someone to show them a sane, balanced life-style. He then defines the clergy syndrome as such: depression, burnout, role confusion, boundary violations, addictions.

Most clergy have learned to cover these afflictions very well and in fact the danger is not that they exist, but that so many seem to be functioning normally without ever seeking help and health before breakdowns in wholeness occur. On the positive side, wholeness is utilizing the best resources in four ares: modern medicine, psychology, alternative therapies, and spiritual salvation. Wholeness is relational, functional or purposeful, corporate, transforming, and NOT perfection.

The best part of this chapter on Clergy Self Care and Detox are the prescriptions given:

1. Guidelines for Health (how we eat, exercise, drink water, think freely, and pray),

2. Self-Observation, which is more about improving ourselves, our unhealthy behavior and thinking. Be comfortable observing yourself, and how we are thinking about what we are thinking. The spiritual discipline of meditation can help us, Rediger maintains, in self-observation. When used honestly, few skills are more helpful.

3. Energy Management, where a way to name your energy drains and sources is offered. How to discern whether you are functioning from a deficit or surplus is also critical and makes good sense.

4. Ethics of Consequences, where no matter what we claim, actual consequences of our behavior are always the reality check. Here we ask what consequences we have on others and the world, as long as ourselves.

5. Boundaries is the ability to place limits of time and our role as pastor. Decision making is an essential skill for setting appropriate boundaries.

6. Pastoral Presence where inner peace is the result of the spiritual disciplines. Listening actively and good facial expression is part of projecting peace to anxious, stressed out others.

7. Persistent Training of Leaders, since untrained leadership, according to Rediger, is one of the most vulnerable aspects of congregational health or sickness.

8. Mentoring is important since being alone is one of the major factors making clergy vulnerable to the syndrome of burn out. Finding a mentor that works for you is the important thing: who can help with your role as well as your person?

9. Don't Do Dumb Stuff like betray a confidence, injure or confuse. First do no harm.

Rediger talks about toxicity in a system in terms of control issues of a group; dysfunction seems to be more about diverse agendas and general role confusion. The exercises in the appendices are also helpful. One of the best ideas I came across was from chapter 6 (Instruments of Peace). Here is offered a membership vow renewal which I found interesting since UMC's do that every time a new member joins. But making the renewal the main focus of a worship or series of worship gatherings would be helpful, I imagine, when inviting the unconnected member back into active participation. The process offered for grievances is worth a look as well.

Alarming Sameness

The Christian spiritual life is very unspectacular, in spite of the ways we tend to market the exotic spiritual experience. On his television spots touting why you should visit his church, one mega church pastor claims, "You'll feel right at home in a second." If most worship guests decide in the first few minutes whether or not your church is for them, then what this pastor hopes is that most people will find community or a sense of belonging within the first visit to his church. Sure it feels good to be welcomed and greeted- to be noticed.

But the spiritual life is also about not being noticed. It's about finding within the purpose and motivation for serving others. Sameness doesn't have to be boring, far from it. It can be freeing to simplify what our motivation is in the spiritual life: to draw closer to God, to experience more of God, to be motivated out of love for God and others, etc. The challenge never goes away. The world system and our own ego always tries to seduce us into using our gifts in ways that undercut our spiritual health and others in the name of building up the self.

Jesus, in commenting on various uses of spiritual disciplines, explains that those who are gratifying ego needs "already have their reward." In essence he is saying that subverting the spiritual life to meet our self-centered needs serves no greater purpose, and certainly no spiritual purpose of connection to God or others. So when you're asked who sabotaged your spiritual well-being, you have only to reply, "It is I."

Church systems are certainly not immune from using the spiritual practices for their own ends and not always for the spiritual health of others. When clergy are burnt-out from their work, might it be because we have become so used to attaching our own institutional goals to the spiritual disciplines that we lose sight of our unique gifts and those we serve? The best book I know about clergy in spiritual direction is Working the Angles: The Shape of Pastoral Integrity by Eugene Peterson. It is more prophetic, but it should shake you up, even if you are returning to it a second or third time. Peace.

Which "Second Half" Clergy Interventions Work for You?

Even as my denomination laments the dearth of entering clergy under the age of thirty-five, there is another issue often left on the back-burner, the one of retention of middle aged clergy. For me, surviving in life seems to be related to the sense of growth versus stagnation. If I feel I am learning and useful, I usually feel that I am doing well. So I have been drawn to educational routes for renewal. And, generally, the church has offered educational programs as well.

Other than a two-year mentor program for younger pastors that Perkins School of Theology offered twenty years ago, most of the programs (most of which are D. Min.) are geared for more experienced clergy. (By the way, if more schools had spent the money to offer programs specifically for younger clergy, you might have seen an increase in retaining them. But even for Perkins, the program, which is no longer in existence, was renamed as a program for "new" as opposed to "younger" clergy).

It seems much has been done to train new second-career clergy. What about lifers whose only crime was that they were in seminary in their twenties? If you haven't attempted any kind of educational or spiritual growth experience that is more than just the two day CE event, then how do you stay alive in ministry? Most programs with any impact go from 2-3 years.

There are many excuses for not engaging in a program of self-development as a pastor: cost, time away, frequent moves, an already loaded schedule, fear of the unknown. Yet, most of the second-career clergy I know have had to balance an almost full time school load with full time work. Depending on denominational culture, a sabbatical or doctoral program is more popular or supported.

As a second half clergyperson, or as one preparing for your second half, let me say that the reasons and benefits for engaging in a program far outweigh the potential pitfalls. The biggest one is fighting boredom and rediscovering challenge! Unless you want to attend Willow Creek-styled three day conferences the rest of your ministry, you are on for a boring second half if you do not engage in something that calls you beyond the day-to day acts of ministry. All you will be doing is learning about whatever that year's fad is- until the next big thing comes along. There is a place for the Willow Conference or even the Seminary-sponsored CE week, but they just aren't designed to work long-term, they are flashes in the night.

Take a look at the survey on the blog and share what works for you! We might be able to start a dialogue and start something new!

Peace in Christ!

Wintery Openers: A Day with Dad

The opening of baseball season brings back tons of memories. Dads are in the business of making good, happy memories.

My Dad would get us out of school before noon so that we could make it down to old Cleveland Municipal Stadium in time for the first pitch. When we were older, we would get the bus from the corner nearest the school and meet him in front of the County courthouse. We often took a buddy from class.

Doing this of course irritated the teachers to no end. They would whisper and point at me the day of my dismissal. I remember our music teacher, whose personal calling was to make my life miserable throughout gradeschool. She made an accusatory announcement to our class that Scott Endress would soon be leaving her (precious) classroom for a baseball game. The tone clearly indicated a criminal offense.

Most openers in Cleveland- make that all openers there- were ice cold, even if the sun happened to be shining. It was all over in the blink of an eye. And I would have to face the same testy teachers the very next day. But it was absolutely worth it. One memory that stands out to this day was Frank Robinson, Cleveland's Player-Manager, homering in his first at bat the 1975 game. Robinson was baseball's first African American manager. It was a high drive down the left field line right past our third base seats! Wow- the place shook as the Indians eventually downed N.Y.

Dads, you are fortunate if you can take your son to a ballgame or even particpate in another rite of spring, such as a fishing trip. It will benefit him more than anyone and it will do so for years to come.

Play ball!

Beyond Church Disillusionment

One thing is for sure, this 2008 race has tons of people fired up and in the process already. The more idealistic you are, the more you are likely to get hurt or at least disappointed. Of course, idealism works- people want to think the best of their candidate.

With churches, the same is true. People are pretty idealistic when joining a faith community. They are thinking the best of their new church home, hoping and believing that it will work for them. If the church doesn't somehow measure up to their expectations, expectations usually formed by the church's own self-presentation, then it is easy to become disillusioned, a disillusionment, by the way, often experienced by new clergy who realize that a community of faith is not all it was cracked up (read: presented) to be.

There is a line in the Serenity Prayer that comes to mind: "...that I may be reasonably happy in this life..." Balancing our expectations with reality is the way of wisdom, and the art of becoming happy within reason is perhaps what St. Paul meant: "I have learned to be content in all things."

It is easy to enjoy the excitement of this political season, and the hope it raises. The joy in finding a new church or going to a new pastoral assignment is also wonderful, a gift and a vessel of God's grace. Hopefully, our political hopes and the grace of the new can and will draw us closer to the One that we cannot do without- and the One beyond our wildest dreams.

Praying with Saint Patrick (March 17)

The Rising
from the Breastplate of St. Patrick

I rise today
in power’s strength, invoking the Trinity,
Believing in threeness,
Confessing oneness,
Of creation’s Creator.
I rise today
In the power of Christ’s birth and baptism,
In the power of his crucifixion and burial,
In the power of his rising and ascending,
In the power of his descending and judging.

I rise today
In the power of the love of the cherubim,
In the obedience of angels
And service of archangels,
In the hope of rising to receive the reward,
In the prayers of patriarchs and matriarchs,
In the preaching of apostles,
In the faith of confessors,
In the deeds of the righteous.
I rise today
In heaven’s might
In sun’s brightness
In moon’s radiance
In fire’s glory
In lightening’s quickness
In wind’s swiftness
In sea’s depth
In earth’s stability
In rock’s fixity.

I rise today
With the power of God to pilot me,
God’s strength to sustain me,
God’s wisdom to guide me
God’s eye to look ahead for me,
God’s ear to hear me
God’s word to speak for me,
God’s hand to protect me
God’s way before me
God’s shield to defend me
God’s host to delver me:
From snares of devils,
From evil temptations,
From nature’s failings,
From all who wish to harm me,
Far or near,
Alone and in a crowd.

May Christ protect me today
Against poison and burning,
Against drowning and wounding,
So that I may have abundant reward;
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me;
Christ to the right of me, Christ to the left of me;
Christ in my lying, Christ in my sitting;
Christ in my rising;
Christ in the heart of all who think of me,
Christ on the tongue of all who speak to me,
Christ in the eye of all who see me,
Christ in ear of all who hear me.

I rise today
in power’s strength, invoking the Trinity,
Believing in threeness,
Confessing oneness,
Of creation’s Creator.

For to the Lord belongs salvation!
May your salvation, Lord, be with us always.

Your After Easter Questions Welcome Here

There is a Beginnings gathering starting Wednesday, March 26, 6:30-8:15 p.m. at the Moveable Feast, 9341 Katy Freeway, Houston, Texas. The series goes for six more weeks, with the format being an informal talk and discussion over a great meal. Instead of being video based, this will be unplugged, giving more time for reflection and questions and discussion over the meal. The meal if free for guests and the book Chapelwood provides, Along the Way, is one the best for anyone starting and restarting an intentional faith journey with Jesus Christ. Consider this your invitation to know and experience more, and see where it takes you!


“Our objective is…for us to step aside and let Christ gently accompany participants on their own spiritual journeys. Women and men need to claim God’s grace in their lives and to find Christ at their own pace rather than for us to force them to drink from the living water,” Beginnings Authors Langford and Ralls.


Can I give God and the church another chance?
What kind of God do Christians believe in?
Why is Jesus so important?
How do I start an intentional spiritual journey?
What does it mean to be a Christian?


I invite you to take a fresh look at Christian faith!
Scott Endress @ sendress@chapelwood.org, 713-354-4470

Birth Order Theory: Not for Youngest Children?

Most birth order books are garbage written by older siblings who are still trying learn how to share their toys in adulthood. Alot of this theory is written by so-called Christian authors. I have yet to find anyone holding this theory up who gives a favorable review of the youngest child's supposed role in the family structure. Maybe it's just me being a younger child, but my suggestion for these folks who love talking about birth order is to get a life, get therapy, or both.

Normally, birth order talk seems to leave little hope for the youngest child. They are totally useless. Sort of like parasites, they often do positive harm. Youngest children, so it goes, are sinners by nature of their birth order. The only non-condemning treatment I have read about seems to be from that parable of Jesus in Luke 15 about the two sons. In the story, the misdirected, malicious, selfish youngest son receives the grace of the father's unconditional acceptance, as does the misdirected, malicious, and selfish oldest! So it is God's grace in Jesus that defines us.

My suggestion for youngest children is to avoid birth theory folks altogether, or at least don't take them too seriously. Most of it is an attempt to explain why the olders suffer so- and that explanation usually rests on your existence. Make peace wherever you are and see it as a gift. You can be a leader wherever you are. The gift that olders have is that they are often able to teach the youngers what it means to share in a loving way. The gift that youngers have is that they are often able to listen and to be taught.

Hell, Hate, and St. Francis of Assisi

Years ago, I was phoned early on a Sunday morning by someone identifying himself as a preacher who said he was taking an informal survey of beliefs. The only thing he wanted to know was if I believed in the existence of a physical burning lake of fire where unbelievers go. I suspect his findings were to be aired in a sermon that morning as evidence of whatever he was trying to prove. That was West Texas.

That there is judgement is an undeniable tenet of Christian belief. It is just how that is used that bothers me. When faith is used on others to hurt, shame or harm, then my faith quickly becomes a tool for hate and injury instead of healing. In a 90's poll measuring belief in Americans, around 95% of those polled said they believed in God. Of those, 65% said they believed in a literal, burning hell BUT only about 6% thought that's where they would end up. This means that most American Christians probably believe in hell for someone else, but not for themselves. That is using the faith to do harm, not good. I wouldn't be surprised if current surveys from Gallup, etc. showed very similar results among Americans.

So what would I do if I was asked that question about a real burning lake of fire in 2008? At the advice of a UMC bishop and friend of those years, I would ask in response, "Do you believe in hell on earth?" Another friend who is in my spiritual direction class said, and I quote "Religion is for those who want to be saved from hell; spirituality is for those who have already been there." That's from Bill, a Catholic Christian, who is in recovery. We can all learn from him.

My study this Lent has brought me in close connection with St. Francis of Assisi, who knew Jesus not as the judge but as the judged, the condemned. Alot of the world's suffering seems to be caused by people of faith who think that their God is out to get them- or others who don't agree with them. So much suffering in the world is caused by a false image of God, one that is shaming and condemning and very much like them. Jesus died to show us that, no matter what we do to God, to Jesus, or to love, God continues to love the world in a way that heals and does not harm.

Gratitude and Energy Level

Researchers at The University of California, Davis, compared the results of keeping a daily gratitude journal with a control group and then measured emotional, physical, and social well being over a three week time frame. The subjects, all who suffered from a neuromuscular, chronic disease, reported:

1. Significantly higher levels of positive emotions in the gratitude group.
2. No difference in negative emotions.
3. Significantly higher positive effects for life appraisal, such as connection to others, life as a whole, and the upcoming day
4. MORE HOURS OF SLEEP! ALMOST ONE FULL HOUR OF SLEEP for those in the gratitude group.
5. No more exercise and no effect for pain was reported.

#4 is amazing! Just think what your energy level could be with almost one more hour of sleep per night!!

Gratitude Works!

Do you doubt the impact that practicing gratitude has on wellness? If this is just happy-ology, then it is powerful enough to change longevity and life satisfaction for the better.

For example, the oft-cited Nun Study by the University of Kentucky looked at the autobiographies of nuns by coding each one for both negative and positive emotions. The study found an amazing SEVEN year difference in the life-span between the most negative and the most positive. Of those who used a low number of positive emotions, 54% had died by the age of 80 and of those who used the highest number of postive emotions, only 24% had died by 80. Or look in the great little book, How Full Is Your Bucket, by Rath and Clifton, in which this study is cited.

In his lecture titled Gratitude: The Science and Spirit of Thankfulness, Robert Emmons of the University of California presented a study on "gratitude intervention" among middle schoolers. Sixth and seventh graders were asked to count their blessings over a three week span. The gratitude induction correlated with higher optimism, and overall life satisfaction with different domains, such as school, home, etc. at both the immediate post test and the three week follow-up.

One way to get started with gratitude as a spiritual practice: try doing a daily gratitude examen. At the beginning of each day- or in the evening if you prefer, take a few minutes to reflect on the previous 24 hours and list 2 or 3 experiences for which you are grateful and why (how did this benefit you?). Clergy are in special need of a practice like this- not in order to avoid the spiritual life- but to draw us into a deeper experience of it.

There is no instant spiritual life or community, despite what church ads promise! Gratitude works,and gratitude also is a practice, a discipline.

The Grace of Gratitude

When I heard about the amazing results in the new field of gratitude studies, it was as if heaven opened. Dr. Emmons of the University of California, and author of THANKS! , maintained in a 2007 lecture that practicing gratitude can have a positive impact on everything from quality of sleep among those with chronic illnesses to life satisfaction and optimism in middle school youth.

Many core findings can be found in his little volume,Words of Gratitude, and also in the article "Positive Psychology Progress" available at http://www.authentichappiness.org/.

My own story includes traumatic (and not totally unique) early childhood events, such as having my stomach pumped due to an accidental overdose of chewable aspirin. Another time my wind pipe began to close from a severe viral infection. Blue in the face, I required emergency breathing assistance until the EMS/Police could arrive with oxygen. Our neighbor and friend, Dr. John Bibbs, was available each time and in my gasping episode, he tilted the vaporized air flow into my nose and mouth with a cupped hand. Brilliant! After my struggle for air, I can still remember the wonderful relief of just having the air to breathe!

From these experiences, a recognition which fostered a deeper gratitude began to take shape. I began to see my life and the contributions others made to it in a different way. I realized that the benefits I received were life- changing- and that they were intended for my good. The help came from outside myself. But gratitude, according to Emmons, is not only a virtue or a gift- it is also a discipline and one that works wonders in the human spirit!

If gratitude intervention works for middle schoolers, surely it works for clergy! Those middle schoolers and a group of Kentucky Nuns is what we look at next.