...self care is never a selfish act- it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give it the care it requires, we do so not only for ourselves but for the many others whose lives we touch.

Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The Codependent Pastor

"It is none of your business what other people think of you."

This recently heard quote from a friend in ministry really sums up what many of us pastoral types need to hear, but are afraid to own for ourselves. It is a freeing moment to realize that trusting our reputation to a faithful Creator is a gift we can give ourselves and those we serve. (cf. I Peter 4: 19)

Of course we don't want people to hate us. There is pastoral risk in saying no to the wrong person as well as in our aversion to conflict and disagreement. Instead of being outer directed, which most pastors are, it may be time to look at our core, our center, our true self, not as servant, but as beloved child of God, the lover of our soul. Our identity in Christ is the origin and source of good in our lives. Which makes me want to protect the reputation of others, to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Being more liked or less liked is not the goal; being real is. Pleasing others is not the goal of the Christian life; pleasing God, learning to be true to God's own image within are worthy of our best efforts and devotion.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Blog Archive

Follow by Email

Why Clergyspirit?

My photo
Houston, Texas, United States
Having been in ordained ministry in the UMC for 34 years, I've experienced the truth that although, clergy are frequently present for others, no one can offer what they don't have.That's why if you're a clergy person, you need someone who will listen to you. Not the random next closest person available, but rather someone like a spiritual director, a therapist, a peer who can be fully present to you. I hope the links and posts you find here will give you ideas, humor, hope and encouragement. Scott Endress

Try Gratitude

If you want a formula for making the best of the less-than-perfect and making the most of what you have been given, then begin to compare your lot to what you were before you were born, and it will empower you with wonder every time. John Claypool

Making Good Decisions