The Spirituality of Shattered Dreams

The pain of disillusionment is equal to the level of false expectations we allow. If the spiritual life was presented as a one-size-fits-all formula for success, then, everything that requires effort and presents a challenge could be an occasion to throw in the towel. Whether we are talking about marriage, church membership, or Christian discipleship, pain is relative to the extent that our expectations are connected to reality.

Hebrews 11 helps us to see the Old Testament story through the colors of death and resurrection, not in terms of promise and fulfillment. That's because God's promises can always be twisted to address whatever I want. Taken together, Moses, who didn't enter the land (see Deut. 34), and David, who didn't build the Temple (2 Sam. 7:1-7), and Jesus, who wasn't delivered from his fate (Luke 22: 39 ff.) represent a strong biblical theme missing in the shallow faith of name it and claim it churchianity. It is the forgotten message God offering resurrection in the ashes of our dreams, our disillusionment.

When I entered full time ministry twenty five years ago, I had hoped that my prior student pastorates "would count" in future appointments. That somehow, I could skip the "Plum Run" or "Turkey Switch" churches because I had already pastored an isolated, isolating rural parish.
I quickly learned that the system doesn't look at such considerations. Instead it needs folks who will take what is offered the first time, or perhaps suffer the consequences later. Or folks who make a decision fairly early on what their ministry is going to be about. That is intentionality.

You can't change the system but you can define and re-define yourself with the gifts God has given you. There is a great need in the church for truth telling instead of false build-ups, whether it's a church appointment or the Christian way of life being sold. Do ya think we could save some pain, do less harm, if we just told folks the truth about suffering the death of our dreams, and through those tears, seeing the resurrected One? The One who alone offers new life beyond our wants and wishes?