The Bible Says Many Things

Scripture contains many points of view and that's not a bad thing. It is an amazing collection- a storehouse and library of faith, spanning hundreds of years of history, story telling, empires, spoken dialects, written languages, and materials used.

Spending just a bit of time reading or studying the Bible, you may find these contrasts disconcerting, especially if you believe or have been told that the Bible contains no contradictions. This belief  is a corollary to biblical inerrancy. 

Which translation is perfectly free of human error? Does an original text exist somewhere and if it does, what is its written language? Is it in book form?  The early fundamentalists like Scofield argued that an error free Bible existed in the original autographs of the first writers and so the Bible is inerrant "in its original form."*

Instead of mentioning biblical infallibility, I sometimes hear this: "you can't pick and choose which verses you believe and which you don't." This suggests that all parts of the Bible are equal in value and importance. But let's be honest: Jesus, as other teachers did in his day, offered commentary on the Torah.**

Before Paul's conversion to Christ and the Christian way, Paul, as a Pharisee and extremist in a freedman's synagogue, hunted down law-breakers and followers of the way. His actions were the result of, in part, what and who should be banned from his faith community. *** 

It's more honest to state what everyone sees: there are not "seeming" contradictions in the Bible, and if we only believed, we would know that everything agrees. And that the conflicts  disappear in a cloud of wishful thinking. 

Why not respect our hearers' intelligence? Yes, interpreting Scripture does require reason, sorting things out, what is important and what is secondary. Why not start with the teachings of Jesus in the four Gospels as the most important words of Scripture?   

*See "Doctrinal Statement- What We Believe," Scofield Prophecy Studies. Scofield did not adhere to an error-free Bible existing in heaven, but held to the unity of the Bible with no contradictions in its message. Scofield originally believed in an agreement between science and the Bible arguing for both an old earth, as well as a young earth theory. See also, William Trollinger, "Fundamentalism Turns 100: A Landmark for the Christian Right," The Conversation, October 8, 2019." Scofield's Bible included an overwhelming set of footnotes emphasizing that the Bible predicts a violent end of history which only true Christians will survive. "The Fundamentals," a series of leaflets begun in 1909, made the case for Bible inerrancy while simultaneously attacking biblical literary criticism, socialism, and evolution. 

**Luke 4: 16-30 places Jesus as a teacher in his home synagogue in Nazareth. The reading of Torah is followed by the teacher sitting in the seat of Moses to set forth commentary on the reading. Jesus' interpretation met with an unusually violent response from the congregants.

***For an excellent discussion of Paul's own faith development, see Elaine Heath, God Unbound: Wisdom from Galatians for the Anxious Church, 2016. Heath's explication of the "tradition behind the tradition" is as excellent as it is helpful.

 

Why Fear Asking Questions?

As a college student, I once attended a conference sponsored by Christian campus fellowship, InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. Some of my friends were active in this group and I found that the IVP books were of great benefit to me. My experiences with this group have impacted my life for the better. This particular retreat was led by a well-known author.

In one session (on the Gospel of John), I decided to go public with my doubts by challenging the main assumption of the leader in front of the group of about 200. The speaker began with the self-stated assumption that "the ultimate reality of the universe is God. Can we all agree on that?" I jumped in and said, "Aren't human beings really the ultimate reality?" There was a brief pause and things got quiet.  As nicely as he could, the leader said something like, "Though that's a good question, for our purposes we'll start with God as the ultimate reality." Ouch! (Note: It's not a good idea to challenge an authority in front of the whole room. You will never win that one).

A mentor of the great John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, gave him encouragement in his early ministry by telling him to "preach faith until you believe, and because you believe, you will preach faith."* My seminary professors used this phrase some, but I think it was meant for Wesley at a unique moment in his life and work. Perhaps it was the answer to improve his preaching.

But this is not a prescription for everyone. Can you imagine teaching the traditional Christian doctrines with your fingers crossed behind your back, thinking that if you say it enough, you'll believe? That's fruitless and a little deceptive, even without the crossed fingers. It's also teaching others to be dishonest and pretend they don't question things that, to them, seem unreal. This is especially true when the world's misery is explained away by spiritualizing or theologizing the suffering of others.**

So the next time I dismiss a difficult text, I need to know that I'm also dismissing others. When a Christian doctrine bounces off my ears as wishful thinking, I will need to accept that others have similar doubts. And no amount of repeating the right words will make the questions disappear.

1. Provide intentional group settings where authenticity and honesty is part of the group covenant. Recovery groups invite members to share their "experience, strength and hope."
2. Do whatever self-reflection -inner work- you need to go beyond anecdotes and share the meaning of a personal experience. 
3. Learn to share your growth of thinking on a particular question, how your understanding has changed from childhood on.
4.  In light of experience, even the questions themselves change.

*Words attributed to Wesley's Moravian mentor, Peter Bohler.

**Jesus died to show us there are no barriers to God's love. One way that people's suffering is minimized is to compare it with God's grief in unjustly losing God's only Son. While I understand it, I have never chosen to use it as an answer to people's suffering or misery, because others may hear it as "your grief or loss really doesn't matter when compared to God's." Even if we could measure or compare such pain, what about the theological- let alone the psychological impact- of this statement?

 

 

Teaching Morality: Why Be Moral?

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars that you have established; what are human beings that you are mindful of them, mortals that you care for them?

Yet you have made them a little lower than God,

and crowned them with glory and honour. You have given them dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under their feet...Psalm 8:3b-7

Drills on good behavior are tiring and tedious; sadly, this is what makes so much preaching and teaching punchless and boring. Reciting what's good or bad may create docile people.* Asking questions is apart of faith development, and not antithetical to it.  

Instead of enumerating moral (or immoral) acts, start with the state of mind, the inner person. Because this is the locus of transformation. The first question to address is- WHY- why be moral? Why should I care? 

Moral theology begins with two important faith premises. One, we are created for covenant love, capable of both receiving and offering it. We are equipped to live in relationships, where unconditional love is a lively possibility.** Why be moral? Because it is apart of being created in God's image and likeness, made a little less than God. 

Two, we are free to choose, within limits, for the good. Read Psalm 8 again. We can choose whether or not to be driven by hormones, the instinctual brain, or to choose to employ the reason made possible by the human brain. There are no guarantees what is right and what is wrong, except maybe well after the event. 

What is my spirit condition that goes before a kind, gracious- or a  thoughtless, hateful word? What is self-chosen? In Roman Catholic theology, the differentiation between venial and mortal sin is made, with the caveat that it is very difficult to label an act as a mortal sin. Can we be sure if the original intention was evil? What are the intended consequences and the unintended consequences? ***

A Moral Examen

1. Can I love God without needing or expecting anything in return? 

2. Can I love others without hope of payback?

3. Can my actions spring forth from a loving heart?****

*The UMC mission, "to make disciples for the transformation of the world" has erred greatly on the side of listing traits, or even behaviors, of a Christian disciple. In this, unconditional love becomes secondary. The above is as much a value as it is a mission statement. 

**This possibility is limited by free will, our choosing the good. For example, addiction destroys free will, rendering people, created in God's image, incapable of choosing for the good. I do not believe addiction is first a sin, it is a illness, evidenced at the cellular level. See Gerald May, Addiction and Grace, 1988. 

***I am indebted to the Spiritual Direction Institute of the Congregation of the Sisters of the Cenacle, for my understanding of Catholic moral theology. Included in this is spiritual direction received under one of the Cenacle Religious. 

****See John Wesley, Christian Perfection: Edited with an Introduction by Thomas Kepler, 1954. Perfection is best understood as action flowing from loving heart, not as perfect behavior and flawless judgement. 

Does God Need to be Pleased?

Questions can linger. Several years ago, the Spiritual Director asked, "By going into ordained ministry, and serving  for all those years, you did what God wanted you to do, right?

"I guess." was my reply.  I never saw it as a matter of pleasing God. But I hear that word "pleasing" God often in congregational worship- and have used it myself. It's another phrase that's used without much thought. But think of the absurdity of somehow pleasing the Lord of all the powers of the universe. 

As I read the Bible, there are responsibilities for living in a covenant relationship with God. You do this for me, then I will do this for you. You refuse to do this for me, then I will do bad things to you (and generations to follow!) * It appears God has little use for people who do not please. Any reading of Scripture cannot skip over it.

As is often the case in Scripture, there's another side to this question. Because of who God is, there is no need to please her if it were even possible: "The God who made the world and everything in it, the God who is Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in shrines made by human hands, nor is God served by human hands, as though God needed anything, since God gives to all mortals life and breath and all things." Acts 17: 24-25 

Are we still talking about pleasing God? 

What thoughts come to mind when I hear something about "pleasing God?"

• Arrogance in assuming we know how to please God.
• The irony of trying please God who is supposed to love us unconditionally. 
• A bargaining chip to get what I want, i.e., "I need a favor." (Pop icon Jelly Roll)
• Guilt and shame in never measuring up. 
• Inability to please people, much less God. 

Considerations

1. Consider omitting references to pleasing God from prayers, etc. For Scripture texts, provide context. **
2. Indicate that our primary responsibility is to fulfill our purpose, to make good on the gifts God has given us. 
3. Teach the difference between transactional and transformational God-covenant. One is based on shame and guilt, the other on unconditional love.
4.  Measure intention- i.e., why be moral? Loving to get something we want in return is not about love. How do I love without any hope of return, reward or gain?
5. What effect do these words have on the listeners? How do others hear these words? 
6. What are the drawbacks of living to please others?
7. Any leader can use insider knowledge on what pleases God and use it as cover for what he or she wants.

*Exodus 20:5-6: You shall not bow down and worship them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments." The theme of blessings and curses is repeated in gruesome detail in Deuteronomy 28.

**For example, Romans 12:1-2 NRSV states "I appeal to you... to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God... Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect." In biblical faith, the people of God are delivered from slavery. No one owns your body; you and your body now belong to God. Paul is drawing on the idea of acceptable sacrifices for the goal of transformation. Like repentance or metanoia, transformation leads to a true discernment of one's gifts and an honest estimate of one's limits. (12: 3-8). 

Pain

In his anguish he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down on the ground. Luke 24:43 NRSV

Pain is tossed around alot in sermons, messages, etc. It's often used without much context or meaning. This is a sign of laziness and leaves listeners guessing.

I sometimes hear about "the pain or sin of addiction." Addiction begins by providing more pleasure than pain. Maybe the pain of recovery is more apropos, since it's in recovery that I learn about my true self, the harm I have caused, the destruction I did to myself, the sense of time and opportunities wasted before recovery. (I suspect that addiction is yet another term thrown around without much thought or concretizing).

It's helpful to clarify the intended meaning of pain-- instead of using it as a blanket term covering anything distasteful or annoying (a pain in the ass).

The definition for pain in Merriam-Webster: 

a localized or generalized unpleasant bodily sensation or complex of sensations that causes mild to severe physical discomfort and emotional distress and typically results from bodily disorder (such as injury or disease).

Another commonly used meaning for pain:

        mental or emotional distress or suffering : grief. 

The text above -from Luke 23- is an example of the most extreme kind of mental and emotional distress. Remember that the sweat was "like" drops of blood. Whatever our faith allows us to believe, Jesus' distress is a human response to being abandoned by friends and God. (1). 

Consider that, before his torture and execution, Jesus's emotional distress is also one of human ego loss and grief. Jesus cries over Jerusalem, which refuses the gathering of the mother hen and her chicks. (2) The disciples' illusions of messianic deliverance and kingdom died a painful death: "we had hoped he was the one to redeem Israel." Luke 24:21  A disciple that Jesus hand-picked turns Jesus into the authorities for questioning. (3) The others in the inner circle run away as fast as they can, leaving their garments behind if  necessary. (4) Another disciple stays closer for awhile, until he denies any association with Jesus.(5) 

Jesus preaches the nearness and immediacy of God's reign and life in that kingdom, (6) which results, ultimately in his being taken into custody and losing all power over his fate. Those story-lines do not present Jesus' ministry as successful when contemporary measurements of church success are applied. The failure and humiliation was public even before the torture and cross. 

Ego-loss is not always something we associate with Jesus' Passion. But if the pain he experiences is not physical sensation but mental anguish, then there is something teachable and preachable here:

1. Use pain-- but explain it. Pain as emotional distress suggests a therapeutic, psychological framework. Sin is a theological idea. Brokenness is sometime used instead of pain or sin. Another concept from Korea, han, allows for the corporate nature of both pain and sin. (7)  

2. The mystics offer insight into emotional distress. The paradigm of Purgation-Illumination- Unification informs the ego-loss experienced in life with God. This is not a therapeutic scheme, but rather, a spiritual one. Although I am not a mystic, I can still learn from their experiences and writings. (8)

3. The ego thrives on false consolation and programs promising happiness which eventually cause more pain. St. Ignatius of Loyola set forth the discernment of spirits as essential in understanding our pain, and making decisions amidst uncertainty, (9)

(1) Matthew 27:46 

(2) Luke 19:41

(3) Mark 14:10 

(4) Mark 14: 50-51

(5) Matthew 26:69-75

(6) Matthew 12:28, Mark 1:15, Luke 10:11, 11:20, 17:21

(7) Han, according to Suh Nam Dong is “a feeling of unresolved resentment against injustices suffered, a sense of helplessness because of the overwhelming odds against one, a feeling of acute pain in one’s guts and bowels, making the whole body writhe and squirm, and an obstinate urge to take revenge and to right the wrong—all these combined." See Yes Magazine, August 24, 2022. 

(8) For a contemporary treatment of this, see Elaine A. Heath, The Mystic Way of Evangelism: A Contemplative Vision for Christian Outreach, 2008.

(9) See, Pope Francis, "Let Us Dream: The Path to a Better Future, 2020, specifically Chapter 2, "A Time to Choose.

            

 

Amazing: Frederick Douglass on Methodism

From AP American History (High School) to Afro-American History (Trinity University) to Black Church History (Duke Divinity School) to Doctoral Studies (Perkins School of Theology), the fact that Frederick Douglass' biography was not required was a monumental omission of the curriculum and leadership. Especially when Douglass' statements on religion, Methodists and Christian leaders are considered. I include two notable excerpts referenced below.

In August, 1832, my master attended a Methodist camp-meeting. held in the Bay-side, Talbot county, and there experienced religion. I indulged a faint hope that his conversion would lead him to emancipate his slaves, and that, if he did not do this, it would, at any rate, make him more kind and humane. I was disappointed in both respects. It neither made him more humane to his slaves, nor to emancipate them. If it had any effect on his character, it and him more cruel and hateful in all his ways; for I believe him to have been a much worse man after his conversion than before. Prior to his conversion, he relied upon his own depravity to shield and sustain him in his savage barbarity; but after his conversion, he found religious sanction and support for his slaveholding cruelty. He made the greatest pretentions to piety. His house was a house of prayer. He prayed morning, noon, and night. He very soon distinguished himself among his brethren and was soon made a class- leader and exhorter.  p. 56

I assert most unhesitatingly, that the religion of the south is a mere covering for the most horrid crimes- a justifier of the most appalling barbarity,- a sanctifier of the most hateful frauds,- and a dark shelter under which the darkest, foulest, grossest, and most infernal deeds of slaveholders find the strongest protection. Were I to be again reduced to the chains of slavery, next to that enslavement, I should regard being a slave of a religious master the greatest calamity that could befall me. For of all slaveholders with whom I have ever met, religious slaveholders are the worst. I have ever found them the meanest and basest, the most cruel and cowardly, of all others. pp. 72-3

Comment

In my classrooms, any consideration of the nature of American human enslavement based solely on race, or Blackness, was overlooked.  Prior to 1865, to be Black  was to be enslaved. Those born into slavery, like Douglass, had no hope of freedom. Douglass' father was a white enslaver. It paid to multiply the enslaved through Black mothers.

Most of my education stopped with a cursory mention of indentured servants and slavery of the colonial era and pre-Civil War.. With no critical exploration of the workings of human enslavement, conclusions one could draw were wrong. For example, there is no comparison between indentured servanthood and human enslavement. 

Douglass suggests that the holidays were used to inebriate slaves into thinking they would forget about their hopelessness and think their lot not so bad after all. A drunken stupor was required to think the slave's life was acceptable. 

There were other vast shortcomings in my formal education. The institutional racism which was established before, during and after the Civil War was rarely, if ever, explored. What about the systemic inequalities that persisted because of race? What about the violence and lynchings that were perpetrated to support that system in the Jim Crow era?**

Whether it was the major labor unions excluding blacks from membership or banks systemically denying credit and home mortgages in the north, or requiring black children to be transported in worn down vehicles many miles from town to dilapidated, rural school houses in the south, why were these things not explored in my studies? We had debates about slavery vs. abolition, but had no exploration of the Civil Rights and Voting Acts of the 1960's, why these Acts of Congress were necessary. 

There is great resistance to learning of the black experience and history today, of course. State and local school boards attempt to limit or define which Black history can be taught and what should be excluded. For the most part, the outcry, or better, the backlash is about what Black history whites are most comfortable with. The resistance is hardened in our churches. Sunday morning in the U.S. remains the most segregated time of the week. 

Douglass' words can be discounted by white congregations today because, after all, enslavement is dead as an institution. The challenge of most congregations of the cultural middle would be to explore why, historically, inequities exist in generational wealth and educational attainment. The Pandemic exposed inequalities on a massive scale. *** 

Instead of seizing this as an historic teachable moment, the lazy dualism between material and spiritual, the corporate and individual, continues to be a dominant theme in preaching and teaching. The Advent Gospel is reduced to inner, individual peace. Lent is reduced to how Jesus and I feel about my sin. Easter is all about my private, individual eternal life, not entering more fully into God's rule and realm.  

*Originally published in 1845 by the Anti-Slavery Office. For pages cited, see Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass, an American Slave, Barnes and Noble,2003.

**James Cone, The Cross and the Lynching Tree, offers a rigorous analysis of the history of lynchings in Jim Crow, and their absence in the writings of  Reinhold Niebuhr. Niebuhr is still considered one of the leading social ethicists of the 20th Century. 

**See How Covid Exposed Racial Disparity in all Aspects of the Health Care System, NPR, 2022.

Is it necessary to recreate the mythical past?

We came to believe that a Higher Power could restore us to sanity.* But what if sanity or clarity was not the norm growing up? Recovery is a journey where I discover a new way of living sanely, safely, and with clarity about boundaries and inner resources-reserves.

1. It is impossible to change without a decision to do honest, searching, and blameless inner work.

2. Do I need restoring to a mythical past that never existed?  Is it possible? **

3. Doing differently requires practice and patience, and a willingness to be a beginner.

4. Find a fellow-traveler. The disruptive forces- the ones we choose and - those we don't - are too powerful to work with alone. 

*I speak for my own experience only, and I certainly to do not represent any 12 -Step program. I am sharing my strength, hope, and experience and that is all.

**Religion portrays a mythical perfect beginning for humankind, starting with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, in Genesis 1-2. Is it total bliss? The presence of the serpent is part of the story. The serpent was part of God’s creation but also represents, to me, that as humans, we are a mixture of good and harmful intentions. I do not believe in talking serpents. 

***I used to think addiction involved only substances that are consumed. I now realize the the "inner drug store" (ACA terminology) is another source of addiction and dysfunction. Jim Jackson defines these as "ambient addictions," in A Guide to Behavioral Change, Banlican House Publishers, 2022. See chapters 15 and following. 

Why Not Make Human Flourishing- Not Degradation- the Standard?

Human beings are capable of anything great and terrible. Hear the words of the Indian Jesuit, Anthony DeMello: "I am no great improvement on the men who killed the Savior." (1) I once heard Martin Marty suggest that Original Sin is the only empirically verifiable doctrine of Christianity. (2) We see it play out every day in murders and mayhem, violence and destruction, and in every harm we perpetrate on others. 

But is the doctrine itself a self-fulfilling prophecy? Further along, if everyone is a sinner- inclining to reject love at every turn, and only randomly-or by God's help- choose the good, why should a more a loving and just world be possible- or even an aspiration? Why expect anyone or any nation to share? Why hope for anything better? Do miserable sinners deserve to flourish?

But if all humanity is created in God's likeness and image, and is very good as created, and further, if the whole creation is good, then everyone and everything fulfills their purpose just by being. Intrinsic worth is the baseline, not the exception. We love because we are capable of both loving God- and others. We are capable of covenant love because God created us. 

Original Sin is normative in Christianity. (2) It's the rule, the standard for sound doctrine. Candidates for ministry preach it before boards and committees, hoping for the passing grade on orthodoxy (right belief). Humanity is condemned, helpless, and deserve whatever it is we get. 

But really, why is degrading humanity so important? For educational purposes, telling people they are sinners is, in practice, mere indoctrination. What if we understood our brokenness as descriptive, exposing the harm we do to each other and the creation? And what if we, by faith, believed in the goodness of creation and the God-likeness of humanity, the norm for belief and practice, teaching and preaching? 

(1) De Mello, Wellsprings, 1986, p. 51

(2) Article VII states, "Original sin standeth not in the following of Adam (as the Pelagians do vainly talk), but it is the corruption of the nature of every man, that naturally is engendered of the offspring of Adam, whereby man is very far gone from original righteousness, and of his own nature inclined to evil, and that continually." The Articles of Religion of the United Methodist Church. The Book of Discipline of the United Methodist Church, 2016.

(3) Even though the doctrine of the goodness of God, creation and of humankind is implied throughout Scripture, Original Sin as a doctrine, and all creation and humankind as "fallen," is the rule. The invitation of faith, young and old, is to explore the importance and meaning of the doctrine of Creation as primary, not secondary.  

 

Talking to Myself about Faith and Ministry in December

Aren't you tired of people asking "Are you ready for Christmas?"

They're just making conversation. It's like December's way of asking "how's it going?"

You mean to be a little less serious about everything. 

Yes, and give everyone a break, including yourself. We all have a lot on our minds, and everyone is doing the best we can.

Christmas has changed for me. I'm not doing ministry anymore. This whole month used to be really crazy, like adding another full time job.

If someone has never had to work overtime during the holidays, then you can't expect them to understand. The more you look around, the more you'll see that most people have to work on or over a major holiday or two. I'm interested in your first comment, about how Christmas has changed for you.

Our parents and family members have died. Most of our younger family has moved far away. I wanted to make a big Christmas meal, but that's hard to do for three. I feel alone.

You could consider yourself lucky you don't have to plan for 15 or 20. Be creative. You are free to do some things a little differently if you want. 

What do you mean?

Getting together is the important thing. So plan things that everyone can do and enjoy. The main thing is you do it together.

It will be different, but maybe you're right.

You're always making memories for yourself and the people you love. They can bring a smile. Sharing stories- make that your priority. That's the bread and butter of the gathering.

To change the subject, when I was in full time ministry, I ploughed ahead without much thought to those who question the Christmas Gospel. I realize that I have questions too.

If you have your doubts about how things happened in the Christmas Story, then you're certainly not alone. God comes to all of us, especially to those who have been disregarded or judged because they can't or don't believe in a literal reading.

Go on, you have my attention.

The point is, you can still believe in the story as literal and also hear a deeper message. And you can still believe in the teaching within the story even though you question the words as scientifically verifiable. They are Gospels, not hard journalism, a reality series, or twitter posts. Their meaning then and for today is what's important. And after all, Mark wrote his Gospel first-- and skipped the birth stories altogether! 

The meaning? You mean, that God actually loves us, even in the mess we're in?  What about the Israel and Hamas War? Everyone is choosing sides as if there's a moral equivalency with terrorists.  I don't think there is, just my opinion. Pray for peace, believe the Christmas message. Pray for the  release of all the hostages as soon as possible.  Pray and support those people and organizations who are trying to supply food, water, medicine and shelter. And for those who are negotiating a fair and just settlement. 

Part of what overwhelms me this time of year is everyone's hardship, even locally. There are so many calls for financial gifts.

Ask God to help you make a decision on supporting one or two worthy causes, then let go.

What about those who are counting on what I did last year. 

That was last year. Again, ask God about it.

When did the amount I spend on people start to be so important?

Since before you were born. Joyful giving is possible within limits. There's so much guilt in wondering if you did enough and stress in overspending too.

That's helpful to hear, I guess. There's just so much pressure to perform.  I don't think I will ever finish my to do list.

Now you're worrying me. Don't be afraid to ask for help now and then.

There are just some things I needed to get off my chest.

Then do it, and let it go downstream.

Deconstructing Perfectionism

Myth: (5) an unproven or false collective belief that is used to justify a social institution.

The myth of perfectionism can make leaders and their communities havens of toxicity and control, instead of freedom and growth.  In groups espousing Christian faith, the perfectionist myth is sometimes referenced by an imperative of Jesus: "You shall be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect." *

For me, perfection is an ideal and exists only in the eye of the beholder. It can project an image of being in control and in-touch. But the the dark passengers of the perfectionist are fear and self-disdain. 

Aspiration and idealism are worthy attributes. Self-improvement and pursuing excellence are not perfectionism. The core belief underlying excellence is that I am created and equipped to better myself and my world.  Not so with perfectionism. 

Perfectionism is older brother to hypocrisy. Clergy fulfill a necessary role in communities of faith. But if image management is my default, I may be overlooking a rotting spiritual center. The perfectionist as a spiritual leader is a positive hindrance to the flourishing of others.

Perfectionist Myths

1. "I'm a lot harder on myself than I am on others." Really? However, we end up treating others as we treat ourselves (or worse). Claiming the perfectionist tag can be a red flag for self-delusion and grandiosity.  

2. "They would like me if I try harder." Is living to impress others a worthy goal, and is it really possible? Being and doing your best is not the same as people-pleasing.

3. "I am not enough." Instead of being created in the image and likeness of God, the perfectionist is not enough. Resources like God's love and peace are scarce. 

Recovery from Perfectionism

1. Deconstruct the myth of perfectionism.

   What is the source of perfectionism within? Fear, shame, guilt?

   What does perfectionism promise and are these promises true?

    In what ways do I benefit from image control?

    In what ways has perfectionism drained, hurt me?

    How is it affecting my family and friendships? 

2. I can affirm that I am created in the image and likeness of God. Can I begin to learn  compassionate love of self and neighbor? I deal with my self- hate without projecting it onto others.

3. I accept that I am capable of a God-relationship that doesn't diminish or hinder others. In light of this, all labels are constructions of the ego, the false self. 

Things I have found helpful

1. Find a helpful psychotherapist who is a good fit. The objective here is too explore my own perfectionism, without fear of judgement- or "fixing." 

2. Recovery from perfectionism requires my ongoing inner work- learning a new way beginning with honesty and self acceptance, and self-love. Perfectionism is a core issue for recovery groups, such as Workaholics Anonymous, Codependents Anonymous, and Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families. 

3. A spiritual director helps to explore my God-relationship and God-image. Why? Because I often treat myself and others in the same way I envision God treating me.  A spiritual director can listen to me in a way others close to me- or others I serve- can't. 

*See Matthew 5:48, NRSV. Another translation of "perfect" is helpful too. New Testament Greek scholar Clarence Jordan translates the same verse this way: "Now you, all of you, must be mature, as your spiritual Father is mature." The text can be found online at kenanderson.net/bible/html/matthew. 

The Gospel Reading and Reflection, Sunday, August 23

Matthew 15: (10-20), 21-28

15:10 Then he called the crowd to him and said to them, "Listen and understand:

15:11 it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles."

15:12 Then the disciples approached and said to him, "Do you know that the Pharisees took offense when they heard what you said?"

15:13 He answered, "Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted.

15:14 Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if one blind person guides another, both will fall into a pit."

15:15 But Peter said to him, "Explain this parable to us."

15:16 Then he said, "Are you also still without understanding?

15:17 Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth enters the stomach, and goes out into the sewer?

15:18 But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles.

15:19 For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander.

15:20 These are what defile a person, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile."

15:21 Jesus left that place and went away to the district of Tyre and Sidon.

15:22 Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came out and started shouting, "Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon."

15:23 But he did not answer her at all. And his disciples came and urged him, saying, "Send her away, for she keeps shouting after us."

15:24 He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel."

15:25 But she came and knelt before him, saying, "Lord, help me."

15:26 He answered, "It is not fair to take the children's food and throw it to the dogs."

15:27 She said, "Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."

15:28 Then Jesus answered her, "Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish." And her daughter was healed instantly.

Why is this story included in Matthew's Gospel? Matthew's Jewish audience would be familiar with the Canaanites given their frequent mention in the Old Testament. It strikes at the heart of the most ancient of animosities in the Old Testament. As the narrative in Joshua and Judges goes, the land of the Canaanites was inhabited by indigenous peoples that the Israelites displaced by murder and mayhem, in order to take the land God had promised Israel. *

Recall that Matthew is a missionary text. According to Luke-Acts, the mission has already traversed many improbable cultural boundaries, such as the development of the Gentile-Greek communities. Matthew adds a contributing story out of Jesus' ministry. Even though an Israelite healing a Canaanite's daughter is improbable, still, with God, all things are possible.**

Consider the Following Surprises

• The woman is the exemplar in the story (not the disciples, again). She shows the pure, undiluted motivation of love, acting for the best interests of another. What else could explain her action?
• It's the Canaanite woman first speaking faith where there was complete dismissal.
• It's the Canaanite woman who actually does God's will and proves to be a true disciple. Recall Matthew 7:21-24.
• Whom do I dismiss and whom do I deem undeserving or outside of God's blessings?
• The faith of my enemy (or those I have labeled as "other") is, according to this story, authentic. Maybe more so than mine. I resist this because it exposes my entitlement and privilege.

*According to the biblical narrative in Joshua, Israel was directed by Moses to take Canaanite land and livestock, but chase down the fleeing Canaanites and kill them. Judges notes, in somewhat conflicting fashion, that Israel was unsuccessful in driving out the Canaanites entirely. While most of the surviving Canaanite people were enslaved, Sidon is mentioned in Judges 1:31-32 as one of few settlements where the inhabitants were neither conquered nor subject to forced labor.

**This is one explanation why this story of a Canaanite and her daughter is presented in Matthew.

Surviving Ministry: Choose to Finish Well

As the page turned to the last 18 months of full time ministry, I felt a real sense of freedom to create something new and needed. Initiative played a big part. I consulted with an expert in geriatric social work.* Then I reached out to CarePartners, a local group that was already resourcing a long standing social ministry in the congregation.** 

The new "Caregiver Relief Ministry" would, after a year of recruiting and equipping, begin serving its first clients. In fact, shorty before I left the congregation, the team partnered with its first two families to offer its ministry. 

Following through on such a project gave me at least two saving features of ending things well. First, it kept me focused, centered, and aligned with my core values. Second, it was an opportunity to leave behind a functioning ministry team. 

What else did I learn in the last 18 months of ministry?

 

I learned the importance of remembrance. One, it is important to claim the power of your ministry narrative. This is about both the last year but, more importantly, the longer witness of your service. The most meaningful ways of marking my retirement was the observance at annual conference. Those who are leaving light the candles of the those who will be newly ordained- then extinguish theirs. It was a telling event, marking both an ending and beginning. I discounted this observance in years past, until I was the one retiring! 

Too, the congregation's reception was a great opportunity to share. I was lifted by the simple and sincere words of gratitude and blessing. There were many honest words of encouragement. from those I had worked with for all or part of 16 years. (3)

I learned that ageism is alive in churches and their bureaucracy. All the more, resist it and claim the truth of your story. One of the drawbacks of downsizing tenured clergy staff (which I was) is that it minimizes the previous years of collaboration and accomplishment. For the downscaling motif to be credible, your story is overlooked, marginalized. (4) When your story is diminished, so is the congregation's. Our work together was shared and never a solo accomplishment.

Your leaving may be couched in terms of "stewardship" or "faithfulness," or "family needs." However, your life's work too is an example of stewardship and faithfulness.  There was time well shared and given, there were gifts employed for the good of others, there were opportunities to love and be loved. And, yes, there is faithful management of resources in all of that.

Tell your story, with honesty and encouragement. The official church media or gatherings are probably not the best venues- and they may not be open to you. I threw a dinner party at a favorite restaurant. I invited those with whom I had close connections in ministry and life: former colleagues, friends, family, mentors, etc. It was my best chance to express gratitude and appreciation. I will long remember the stories, joy, and laughter we shared. Your celebration will be different from mine. Still, discover what is a unique theme in your work and find ways to affirm it!

Finally, retirement is difficult work and can't be done (well) alone. Welcome the help and support of people who know you and care for you: friends, family, a spiritual director, a therapist. Ironically, we who teach and preach about God's love and peace are tempted to go it alone. Don't do it. Live out the truth that God's mercy, hope and faithfulness are available to you. 

It's up to you to finish well:

1. Focus on one important thing you can accomplish with the time you have left in full time ministry.
2. Participate in the official observances provided by the larger church and the reception the congregation offers.
3. Witness to your core values. With gratitude, tell your ministry story by celebrating with those most important to you.
4. At all costs, resist the default to endure this passage alone. Keep reaching out to God and to those who know and care.  

(1) I am indebted to classes and conversations with the late Suzanna Waters Castillo, who, at the time was the Distinguished Faculty Associate, The University of Wisconsin, Madison. The certification program that she directed, "Mental Health and the Older Adult," was unique in its research-based, best practices approach to geriatric care.  

(2) CarePartners worked with us to tailor a ministry to provide limited, trained, and congregational care givers for our parishioners. In the best way, we became partners in ministry.

(3) I will long remember one member telling me, in essence, "The time before my retirement was harder than I could have imagined."

(4) There is scant research on finishing well in ministry. A piece that raises good questions is Ageism: The Real Struggle for Church Staff Close to Retirement, Church Answers, featuring Thom Rainer. 

 

Teaching and Preaching the Gospel for Sunday, August 6

Effective Gospel studies or sermons begin (and perhaps end !) with questions that open doors of hope and creativity. Here are some suggestions, using Jesus' Feeding of the Five Thousand in Matthew 14:13-41. 

1. How do you think the first audiences of Christians would have heard this feeding story?
2. What, for you, is a key word or phrase in this passage? Why?
3. Note that Jesus tells the disciples, "You give them something to eat." How do you hear this directive?
4. What do you make of the passage when it states "all ate and were filled?" (14:20a)? 
5. How might this story's message be heard among those living in poverty vs. those living in relative wealth? Does it really matter? Why?   
6. What does it mean for you to have enough? For our life together?
7. How might the bread and fish that Jesus Christ gives fill you? 
8. How might your life be changed as a result of hearing this story? How would we live and share differently? 

There is always a great temptation in answering these questions as you would a Bible quiz, such as listing what one must or should believe about Jesus and miracles. Try to resist this approach for yourself- and invite others to think for themselves too. 

List as many possible responses as you can for each question. The open-endedness will allow more space for the Spirit to speak- and so that everyone may see entirely new and different possibilities for fruitful and faithful action moving forward. 

 

The Gospel Reading and Reflection for Sunday, August 6

Matthew 14:13-21

14:13 Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns.

14:14 When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them and cured their sick.

14:15 When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, "This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves."

14:16 Jesus said to them, "They need not go away; you give them something to eat."

14:17 They replied, "We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish."

14:18 And he said, "Bring them here to me."

14:19 Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds.

14:20 And all ate and were filled; and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full.

14:21 And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.

 Guided Meditation

I invite you to reflect on the Gospel story, as if you were one of Jesus’ disciples. It may help to read it slowly, pausing whenever it feels right. It can also be read in a group setting.

It’s a sunny, breezy, late morning on the lake. It’s almost mealtime and I am looking forward to breaking bread with Jesus and the others. It will be the first time since we all heard the disturbing news of John’s beheading.  John and Jesus were very close; the two respected and emulated each other. Where is Jesus?” I run out to see Jesus, who wading out to one of boats anchored off the beach. 

Quickly, he climbs in, then sails farther and farther offshore. I call to him and track him from the shoreline.  I trot along the crest of the slope and stop at a lookout point. A huge, hidden cove opens-up before me and I see a beach teaming with people. They have gathered, from the water all the way up the sandy slopes.. I stop in quiet amazement…

 

I walk down through the sand and rocks to get a closer look. I spot Jesus at the water’s edge, healing and curing everyone he can touch. He takes time to be with each person. From the youngest to the oldest, in families or by themselves, they come. Surely there is no one in whole world with Jesus’ compassion and dogged determination to love people. He is like a good shepherd who loves and protects his sheep no matter what.

 

As the afternoon light wanes, I hear someone say “It’s almost evening now.” Another one wants Jesus to send everyone away. I overhear Jesus’ reply, “Don’t send anyone away just yet. You give them something to eat.”  I notice a few around him gather a small serving of smoked fish and bread, enough to feed a small family. They hand Jesus what they have collected. I hear Jesus’ words to the crowd, “Free people sit down to eat. We are a people delivered from slavery and captivity. Everyone, please find a  place on the green grass. There is room for everyone.” Today, even though it seems everything is against us, I sense the presence of the Lord, and a peace deep down in my soul…

I see Jesus giving thanks over the food. He then starts to break the bread and says, “Blessed are you when you are kind and merciful to others.” He then tells us to share as God has shared with us. When I receive my piece of bread, I pass it along.  The pace quickens as more and more bread is passed. As far as I can see, people are eating to their contentment and in quiet.

 

As the crowd begins to break up and walk into the waning light, I join the volunteers collecting any leftover bread. There’s enough for me but right now, that doesn’t seem important. I’m bursting with thanksgiving for Jesus. Somehow this day has made me feel renewed, like it was the first day of my life! I dedicate myself to loving God, even my enemies. My heart overflows with love... 

How I Survived Ministry: Clarity

By the age of 60, I had been working full time for 37 years. Sometimes it helps to take a look at the mileage not just chronological age. (1)  

About that time, there was an episode that has become a benchmark. I was sharing Holy Communion with a parishioner, a resident of an Assisted Living home, and a hospice patient.

As I greeted the patient, there was the remains of a meal that surely had been served hours before. The meal tray was covered with ants. I couldn't miss it as I prepared the Sacrament. I also saw ants on the patient's bedding and tee shirt. Where was the Nursing Staff, Meal Service, the Director? (2)   

Soon after, I contacted the Hospice Chaplain. I also called the facility's manager/director, who was out when I visited. The Assisted Living Manager said that the room would be fumigated soon, and thanked me for letting them know. (How could fumigation be done with the hospice patient in the room.?! I was assured that it could be done safely). 

Amidst the shock, sadness, and disillusionment, I sensed that something was ending. The idea that I was making a difference seemed far fetched, an illusion. The notion that I had the right to know the impact of my work seemed more about my hubris and  entitlement.  

A new clarity had been forming for awhile. From the beginning of the ordination process and well into full time ministry, the most important measurables in ministry were external: budgets, buildings, and bodies in pews. But what was the measurable for the inner person, the spirit? Institutionally, it's a secondary question. But it should matter. The practice of Christian ministry should, one would think, bring one closer, not farther from, the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. 

Of course it's not a bad thing to take care of your spirit and to care for your soul while caring for others. But all the personal sabbaths, journaling, devotions, and fasts will not change the system to value the measurements less. sure, everyone needs skills that are useful. But this is not the argument for more and better effectiveness, economy, and efficiency.  All the technique in the world does not lead to sustainability and creativity, and transformation. To do that, one needs to love deeply and often. And, drilling down, one needs to be known and loved.   

Under the long testing of full time ministry, my hopes and ideals of pleasing others were disintegrating. Was gratifying others a worth my best self anyway? I began to let go of the notion that I could fulfill the expectations of myself, others, the church, and the exhaustive pastoral role. In grief and wonder, part of my life's journey was ending.and a new season was calling. 

(1) In the UMC, the clergy pension program is based on years of service- not age.
(2) After serving as Chaplain in a continuing care facility, I was trained as a volunteer Ombudsman (advocate) in Long term Care by the State of Texas. At the time, there was stringent State oversight of Long Term Care facilities, but not so with Assisted Living.