...self care is never a selfish act- it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give it the care it requires, we do so not only for ourselves but for the many others whose lives we touch.

Parker J. Palmer, Let Your Life Speak

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Naming your toxic pools

Toxic Brew is a great article on recovery as an adult child. It actually names recovery from trauma as central to the process. Too, it also lists the characteristics of adult children and supplies several sources that have been written since the Adult Children of Alcoholics book was published. All very helpful.

The truth is we cannot lead others by denying who we are. And we cannot equip others to live out their lives fully and faithfully if we are not also on the journey to greater self-awareness and self- acceptance. If we're above the healing Christ offers us, then how do we offer this same grace to others?

Knowing ourselves, we know better how to find nourishment for our soul. It takes wisdom and discernment to name the toxic pools in your own river. And it takes God's grace to work on them. (Phil. 2:13) This rarely comes from just ourselves without some help from mentors, soul friends, or spiritual directors. We do not have anything to give that we did not first receive. (I Corinthians 15:3)

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Having been in ordained ministry in the UMC for 34 years, I've experienced the truth that although, clergy are frequently present for others, no one can offer what they don't have.That's why if you're a clergy person, you need someone who will listen to you. Not the random next closest person available, but rather someone like a spiritual director, a therapist, a peer who can be fully present to you. I hope the links and posts you find here will give you ideas, humor, hope and encouragement. Scott Endress

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If you want a formula for making the best of the less-than-perfect and making the most of what you have been given, then begin to compare your lot to what you were before you were born, and it will empower you with wonder every time. John Claypool

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